And so this is Christmas

 Dear Marmite

I have come round  to thinking that unplanned Christmases are the best. Due to the lockdown rules, I spent Christmas Day with Danielle, Richard, Billie Bump and Shadow. For the first time that I can remember I didn't do anything towards Christmas dinner either. I felt a little bereft to be honest. I like doing the Turkey. Richard, a trained chef, took over the kitchen and did us proud. Even Shadow got a special Christmas dinner of turkey, gravy and the trimmings. This is the first Christmas I have spent with my family since 2017 and there were no uninvited guests this time. You would have loved it, Marms.

The turkey I bought was for 8-10 people. We had just the crown for Christmas dinner. However, before the big day we ate turkey curry, fricassee and sandwiches. Richard has actually saved the day. I imagined eating turkey themed dinners well into February.

We all started off Christmas day with a doggie walk along the Grand Union. There were a number of people out for their constitutionals too. Many were wearing their Santa hats. I got rid of mine when I packed up the house in Singapore. Now I wish I hadn't. So the Santa hat has got added to a long list of things I really should have brought back. 

The air was crisp and there was ice underfoot. The flood plain was awash where the Ouse had burst its banks. Oh, the might of nature. It is hard to imagine how so much water could have got there. This area is a nature reserve but along the way in Northamptonshire and north Befordshire homes had been evacuated because of the flooding. When I set off for the walk, I knew it would be wet. Even if I had worn my boots, I still couldn't have gone along the path. I reckon it was thigh deep. 

The presents I received for Christmas say a lot more about our current situation than me, I hope. I have drinks galore, chocolate and Christmas fare. Come BREXIT and potential food shortages, I will be fine. Danielle and Richard gave me a wine thermometer so I will be able to drink my wine at just the right temperature from now on. I tried it out yesterday on the champers. We drank it at 2c above the recommended chill which was not a good start. With this gadget I am well on my way to being a wine nerd!

Of course we can't have Christmas without games. So with our Christmas hats on we played Uno, Pictionary, 5 second Rule, quiz games, chase the ace and cribbage. Some of these needed to be adapted for small numbers  -but without them it wouldn't have been Christmas. I was an abject failure at chase the ace. However I played it, I ended up with the ace. Thank God we didn't turn it into a drinking game. hic... Richard was especially pleased that I lost. He sees there is a chink in my armour.

Amazing! We three crammed all this in and I still had time for a pretty nasty asthma attack. I am not sure what triggered it but I reckon it could have been the cold air outside. My puffers were well out of date and they weren't effective so I had to ring 111 for advice. It is not easy talking when you can't breathe and it is even worse coughing in a time of COVID. The people who helped me on the other end were brilliant. I have been to the pharmacy this morning to pick up another inhaler ready for the next attack. Fingers crossed I won't need to use it.

Off on my bike later, hopefully...I need to cycle off the the pud I ate!

Cuddles from afar...

Love

XXX

More Tears...

 Dear Marmite

It was a great shock when a message bleeped through on my phone last night that we were going into tier 4. This obviously is worse than the tier 3 that started just yesterday. I had no time at all to experience tier 3 so I cannot say that life is worse now we are in tier 4.

The big thing is that Christmas is cancelled. All my plans have been scuppered and the turkey will now last well into February. When I first heard the news I went into denial. This could not possibly be so. In addtion to this year's cancellation, being in Hanoi last year means that for two years I will not have celebrated in the Woolhead traditional style. I like to go big with my Christmas Day plans. One day I will again.

When the news started to sink in, I saw myself sitting with a full Christmas dinner in front of me - all by myself. The Christmas tree lights would be twinkling, the Christmas decorations would all be up. I imagined myself having to hold both ends of the cracker to pull it and  it would be foolish of me not to drink the whole bottle of prosecco - who drinks flat fizz the next day?

Richard and Danielle were going to stay at his mother's place but travel between areas is off the cards too so at least I have company to pull a cracker with. Now we can all look ridiculous together wearing our paper hats for the day. It will be a Christmas but not as we know it. 

You are probably out of the loop with this. In southern England there is a mutant strain of the virus that spreads even easier. This is why the government have suddenly jumped into overdrive with new rules and further closures of anything remotely pleasurable. 

Billie Bumps arrival is imminent. Danielle probably won't have room for too much pudding this year and she certainly won't be raising a glass. As much as I feel anger with the way the whole crisis has been handled over here, I do feel protective of Danielle and Billie Bump so I am being cautious - so cautious in fact, that we had to climb on the railings of a bridge to get over a flood today! We were well away from any contact with potential viruses but we could have got quite wet. No sweat!

This is the first year I won't be thinking of how I can sort the turkey out to make treats for you. I used to boil down the bones for broth and flavour rice with it. Thinking of things I did for you like that make me miss you more. I know you are in good hands though and that life is good for you. You are in a good place altogether.

To you and all my friends in Singapore and around the world. Merry Christmas. However, you spend it, it will be different. The world is a different place.

Love you loads, Marms

XXX

Christmas is just around the corner

 Dear Marmite

Big question... where has this year gone? I cannot believe that we have got to Christmas time already. Some days and weeks seem like they have dragged by yet the whole year has whizzed. It has been lovely seeing the seasons change and that is something I missed in Singapore.

Danielle, Shadow (dog) and I went up to St Andrews to visit the rest of the tribe. It is a 500 mile drive north to a warmer place surprisingly.  As Danielle is very pregnant we fitted a number of wee stops on the way. Sammi lives five minutes walk from the beach so we took the dogs there each day. On one particular visit there were a large number of surfers bobbing up and down in the sea. They looked like over-sized black birds. In all the time I was watching, only one person managed to ride a wave. 

This has led me to the conclusion that every single person in the water that day must be slightly mad. They choose to do an activity  - surfing - but don't actually surf. They sit around on boards bobbing up and down on the waves in sub Arctic waters of the North Sea for pleasure! At least I get to hit a ball in sub zero conditions which means at least I am playing tennis. In my mind this makes me less crazy than surfers by quite a margin. Sammi apparently surfs  - or sits on a board in very cold water - so I see this as definite confirmation of his mental deficiency.

On the Christmas front, I am really not sure what is happening. Boris - the people pleaser - has said that we have new rules for Christmas where people from three different bubbles can mix indoors with the windows and doors open. In the middle of winter in the northern hemisphere this most likely won't happen. The windows will be closed surely - otherwise the turkey won't be the only thing frozen.

Over the five days of Christmas celebrating, I could be in contact vicariously with half of England. If two bubbles join up with me, they could have rubbed shoulders with up to four other bubbles each previous day. Some have described this Christmas relaxation of rules as a potential killing spree. The double-speak, the lack of clarity, the failure of any clear leadership over here are all factors contributing to the high death toll. 

For all the sense it makes we could be talking ibble obble black bobble, leading to hubble bubble toil and trouble with bubble oh seven being James Bond in a bath. The government messages are no clearer. At least this temporary blip in sanity will only last from 24th to the 28th December before we then have to rethink how to see in the New Year without hugging everyone in arm's reach.

I am currently living in a tier 2 area with high infection rates and school closures. God alone knows what will happen after Christmas. The vaccine is here and I have already had an email that over 80s can get it. To be honest, they should start with front line workers - bus drivers, NHS, shop assistants - anyone who comes into contact with lots of people. I am happy to be at the back of the queue here. One little thing that happens in MK is the food deliveries are robots. They don't need vaccines.

So today I am busy getting ready for Christmas - a bit of shopping, a bit of cleaning, a swim, tennis and a quiz. I have plans for Christmas... they could turn into me pulling a cracker with myself and  eating a turkey big enough to feed the street by myself at worst but I don't anticipate that. Christmas Card 2020

Life is tough in retirment as you well know, Marms. Miss you as always

Love

XXX

A Very Special Day!!!

My very dearest Marmite,

Happy Birthday! In human years you are very nearly one hundred. You are a truly amazing old man who has brought so much joy to so many people. You have been a therapy dog and a male model in your day. Every day I miss you,  yet I know that you are in the very best place and enjoying every minute of your life.

Over here in England the weather is decidedly the wrong side of nippy and when I get up to go swimming in the mornings I dress up in so many layers you could not imagine it. I have been here for over 10 months now and I still haven't got the hang of dressing appropriately for the cold weather. I took Shadow for a walk around the Rec and my feet got sodden from the wet grass. I get on my bike thinking I will freeze and end up stripping off layers en route. I can't seen to get this right.

Today I saw a man jogging in shorts and T-shirt when the temperature was minus 2. Just last Sunday I played tennis is foggy conditions. The football match happening on the same fields must have been a farce as you  really couldn't see across the pitch while I could only just see the far side of the court. This is proof that the English  really are barking mad!

Brexit is a fine example of total stupidity. Big bad Boris promised an oven ready deal which he said had been signed, sealed and delivered. The great British public must have believed him when they voted  him in with a landslide. If he wadn't talking out of his arse then, why is he failing around to scrape together a deal which by all accounts will turn Kent into a lorry park? Un-bloody- believeable.

Some things have changed drastically over the time I have been in Singapore. We used to stick a tree up inside the house and give it some quiet bling. Now so many people go overboard and decorate their house fronts for the festivities. This takes time. I saw how hard the man down the road from me worked to add festive bling to our little street. 

I felt rather guilty that I hadn't quite got in the spirit so I bought an £8 Tesco tree complete with lights and battery to put in my bedroom window. to be honest I probably shouldn't have bothered. It looks rather sad. I am even embarrassed to take a photo of it. It will probably take me some time to actually do the right thing. 

I have decided to buy some snow boots - I don't like wet socks squelching round my toes. but there are no boots in my size at a price I want to pay! I have been here such a long time yet I still slip into Sing dollar mode and think something is cheap when it is actually quite expensive. Fifty dollars and fifty pounds are very different but my mushy,  muddled brain sometimes doesn't quite connect with currency conversions.

So from a muddle -headed slightly cold me, I will say bye bye and wish you all the best for many doggy years to come. Have fun old man.

Love

XXX

One Year Ago... Just Yesterday

 Dear Marmite

I have been away from Singapore for a year and a day! I walked out of Dairy Farm Condo and got on a 170 bus. In the normal run of things this is not a very big deal as thousands of people do this trip every day. For me it was for the very last time  I set off across The Causeway. Melanie walked to the bus stop with me and I feel almost more emotional about that moment now than I did then. I miss Singapore!

A lot has happened to both me and the world over the last year. For starters I couldn't have imagined how the world would be turned upside down by something so small. Over one and a half million peolpe have died from Covid - with 53,000 deaths in the UK alone as of today. Many more millions are facing, unemployment, homelessness and penury.

I have been to over 10 countries in the interim which is surprising considering how many borders are now closed. At least the memories of my travels have kept me going through the darker moments of lockdown. One that stands out is the fantastic hair cut I had in Paris. It was the best ever. Now my hair looks so awful, I wear a hat. At one point in the first lockdown I had it shaved off. That option is so tempting despite the chilly weather!

Over the last year I have also had a surprise house guest for a major part of it.  All that came about out of the blue from an email with a desperate cry for help. And so to the rescue... or so I thought. Yet only today my friend, Nasser, joked that he had been told by his lawyer that he is entitled to £20,000 from the Home Office for every month he was wrongfuly imprisoned. If I had left him there, he could have been so much better off now! Mind you, with our current Home Office I won't hold my breadth regarding any payout. 

In retrospect, I should perhaps consider my long term guest a replacement for you, Marmite. He like you is fairly well house trained, likes my cooking and is mostly willing to come along for some exercise. However, I stopped short of tickling him behind the ears and he will he never supplant you in my affections - you, Marms are and always will be the perfect gentleman.

I have come round to the idea that I am missing work. I feel I need something to occupy my waking moments. I have a few years before I can collect my pension but I am regularly reminded I am a vulnerable person. I have been offered a flu jab - not COVID - and I am on a register for vulnerable people with my energy supplier should any blackout happen. As a bona fide old dear I am in a place where all the bases seem to be covered! I just can't remember where I parked my zimmer frame though!

As you know Marms, early morning swims are my thing at the moment and since the Not-Lockdown 2 has finished I am back to regular dips. I set off in the dark and watch the sky brighten up over the deep end of the pool as I swim my lengths. I have to say it is a great way to start the day seeing the world wake up.

I am also starting to get ready for Christmas. The tree is up. I have made the alcoholic mincemeat! I am also making some Christmas sweets. Under the constraints of being in tier 2 - make of this label what you will - as it means different things to different people - I am pushing the boat out and doing Christmas with as much cheer as possible. I look back on 2016 as being the benchmark for memorable ones. That had a certain je ne sais quoi but I can't put my finger on it. Spoons were involved!

I am also joining in a Wolverton Art initiative where you turn a window of your home into a picture frame. Each month is a theme. January starts with the theme of HOME. I hope you like my first attempt at this and accept it as being heavy with irony. 

I hope you are looking forward to your birthday, 

Hugs

XXX