The Anatomy of Covid

 Dear Marmite

Covid has struck. I am a number - just one of the 30,000 plus cases that the UK records every day. I am hardly part of an exclusive group yet I am bombarded with NHS messages, emails, and phone calls. The NHS has invested widely in making my life more miserable than it could possibly be. Fortunately I am not too ill, just too infectious to go out.

Let me begin at the beginning. I was out and about all over the place on Wednesday and missed lunch. When I got home I didn't feel too good. I thought it was a migraine coming on from not eating regularly. I went to tennis in the evening. In the morning, I had come out in hives again. Haha, I thought. More allergy problems. My wasp sting looks like a massive bruise now so it wasn't inconceivable that there could still be something of the wasp still inside me. 

I looked after Ezra-Mae for the day. That went well. I had no cough or any of the other things you are told to expect. I did feel a bit down but nothing to worry about. Friday I went for a COVID test and argh... the result was positive.

At this point, I had no more than a mild cough and cold. I am still not really ill. I have a stiff neck, intermittent coughing plus I feel sorry for myself. Today I woke up, made coffee, and realised it tasted like ditchwater. My breakfast had the flavour of cardboard. So at this point, I have no taste buds but I can still smell. 

My Singapore phone won't load the test and trace app. Despite telling people this, I get so many emails and sms messages to ask me to put my results on the app. A very nice lady from the test and trace service spoke to me yesterday. She was most understanding. I had already informed everyone I had been in contact with but she needed names and numbers as well. This is understandable but when you are speaking to someone on the phone it is not easy to get numbers off your phone. 

Also, I tried to register myself for a retest but again was thwarted. The email with the link to fill in the form gets wiped out when the code is sent in another email. Again this is something guarenteed to piss me off. I am under the weather and the Bloody NHS doesn't seem to have a handle on how inefficient they really are.

This morning the NHS phone call sent my blood to boiling. This is something that COIVD alone has failed to do. I will not answer another call from that number! A lady rang up, told me to self-isolate as it is an offence not to do so. She read from a script so quickly and with the intonation of a robot, I wondered why the NHS didn't save itself some money and employ the robot from Marks and Sparks to read at speed to the 30,000 people who also have COVID. She even addressed me inappropriately so you can see why I was steaming. 

There are some up sides to having COVID, I am getting little jobs done around home. I have finished some craftwork, now I am painting my bedroom. In fact, I am writing this while I wait for the first coat to dry on the window frame. 

Added to this, COVID seems to have helped me slim down somewhat. What is there not to like about this shitty situation. I know this is a crass comment, Marms. I know how many lives have been lost. I watched "Help" with Jodie Comer on All 4. It was a story of a carehome in Liverpool at the start of the first lockdown. I couldn't help wondering whether her Killing Eve Character might rise to the surface slaughter the few who were left alive. When I wasn't wondering, I was crying. It is a seriously good story and uncomfortable to watch. 

So back to painting for me!! 

I miss you, Marms  today would have been a great time for a cuddle.

XXX

A Big day for Ezra-Mae

 Dear Marmite

I am having Ezra-Mae this morning and I am so excited. I have promised Danielle that I won't drop her on her head. This is a joke by the way. We always told Sammi, when he did something daft, it was because he was dropped on his head when he was a baby. 

Danielle is practicing leaving Danielle in readiness for her to return to work so there will be big changes ahead in her family organisation. I might be baby-sitting when both Richard and Danielle are working so it will be practice for me too. 

I have been quite busy lately too. I volunteered to make some stuff to sell at the Community Orchard on September 11th. In preparation I picked apples and plums from the orchard trees. This turned out to be a risky activity as I got clobbered on the head by four falling apples while picking them. It struck me how Newton must have felt to the power of four! 

I also picked a couple of kilos of blackberries to make blackberry and apple crumble from along the canal. Apart from getting caught on brambles and stung by nettles, this activity was far less dangerous. I also got chatting to people as they strolled past. The tow path is quite a friendly place. It seems that jam making is a popular pastime in these parts. 

We had a beautiful sunny day for the Orchard Event. This was an unusual upturn in the autumn weather. Most of August and the beginning of September have been dismal. I made 20 fruit crumbles at about 7am on the morning of the day and then realised it would be sensible not to take them along to the orchard on the back of my bike. I aim to use my bike for all short trips but in the interests of delivering reasonably sound crumbles I opted to do the 4 mile trip in my car.

I always worry that my cooking won't be popular. It is like when you take something to a potluck and then the host gives you the untouched dish to take home again because no one fancied it. The upshot was that all the local produce was a hit and everything went like hot cakes. I needn't have worried. I even had a little assistant!

I am still having problems with Marks and Sparks. They are the pits. You can't get to speak to anyone for at least 20 minutes and then no one seems to be able to help. I will NEVER consider them again as a place to shop. They are a shambles. It took yet another trip to the Stadium store to find out that I am actually going to get the damaged cushion replaced this Monday. How much effort would it have taken to tell me this was going to happen?

Danielle had trouble with her car and took it to the nearest garage which is on Stratford Road in Wolverton. This turned out to be a big mistake. The Eastern European mechanics clearly had no handle on what the problem was with her car, buggered it up some more and then charged her £200 for the pleasure. Not only was this annoying, she then had to hire a tow truck to get it to a garage that could fix it.  Like Marks and Sparks, places like this should be blacklisted. Perhaps this is the new norm for the UK. Who knows?

I am sure life is easier where you are, I have noticed that Singapore has hit the news for having an outbreak of the Delta variant but you are still in a good place despite all that.

Love you loads, Marms. 

Hugs all round

XXX

A Sting in the Tale

 Dear Marmite

I expect you are wondering why I spelt "tale" the way I did. The answer is simple - I am going to tell you a story about a little sting. It is true and it happened yesterday. It is also quite unbelieveable and it has left me very vengeful.

Most of my day yesterday was innocuous. I played tennis, did a bit of gardening, chilled out - normal stuff. The chilling out bit turned into a nightmare though. I was sitting on my balcony in glorious sunshine at one with the world when a wasp flew up my skirt. I felt something on my thigh so I slapped it. The wasp died but the sting ended up in my thigh.

This is nothing in itself. It hurt. Obviously wasp stings do. I asked my friend to get an ice pack from the freezer. She gave me a packet of frozen crumpets. They sort of did the job of cooling down the burning round the sting. I now imagine future medical advice - take one packet of frozen crumpets...

Then things got worse. An intense itching started aound my bottom and crotch. I thought I had sat on a fire ant nest. I had a quick inspection because I was convinced there were real ants crawling on me and biting. The itching soon started in my ears as well and then under my eye lids. An octopus would not have had enough arms to quell the agony I was feeling. I came out in hives ALL over my body. Even the bottom of my feet were itching and on fire. 

By this point I realised I was having a bit of an allergic reaction to the sting. I called 111 for advice but found it difficult putting a phone to an itching ear. I could feel my pulse racing and I felt completely exhausted. Telling the very kind assistant on the other end of the phone that I had been stung by a wasp seemed wimpish. She said she'd send an ambulance and in the end I was so relieved to have help. 

My blood pressure went sky-high, I was having an asthma attack, my body was on fire and my leg was swollen from the sting. I had to take all my clothes off as they made my skin feel worse. All this took less than an hour. The paramedic gave me an injection and slowly I began to feel normal, if not a little shakey. Even after 2 cups of coffee I slept soundly through to early morning.

Today is another day. I am swiping anything that buzzes anywhere near me. Revenge is sweet. I might even include White Anglo Saxon Protestants in my revenge. A WASP is a wasp after all. To me it is quite amazing that such a small creature could cause such a reaction. I am a bit sleepy even now. 

I did, however, manage to see Danielle on her birthday today. She has been treated like royalty all weekend and she is still on a high. It seems that Ezra-Mae knew just what she wanted. What a clever girl! 

The weather this week is glorious, Marms. You would love it.

Love you.

XXX

Another Year Slipping Away

 Dear Marmite,

It is all downhill to your 15th birthday in December. We are already in September and I struggle to remember where this year has gone. What is worse is that special days like Bank Holidays also slip by almost unnoticed too. 

We had a Bank Holiday last Monday and over here in the UK it signals the end of summer. The passing of our non-summer into slightly chillier weather actually needed nothing to tell us that Autumn is on the way. Today it is overcast and nippy. 

One thing that I really do appreciate is the opportuntiy to pick wild fruit from the hedgerow. I told Danielle I wanted a walking stick. She asked me whether it was for my bad back. Actually I would love an old walking stick to pull the higher branches of blackberries within my reach. It is true that the sweetest fruit is just beyond arm's length. Along the tow path are loads of blackberries. I am using the last harvest of them to make blackberry and apple crumbles for a harvest event at the Community Orchard. 

I picked apples from the trees in the orchard two weeks ago and nearly got knocked out by falling apples landing on my head. This week I picked Victoria and Czar plums which I figured would do less damage should they fall on my head. These plums have also been stewed ready for crumble making.

Danielle is raising money for British birds. She will be walking 50 miles this month in the hopes that she will get sponsored for her efforts. This means that Shadow will also be walking 50 miles too. Imagine that, Marms, your old companion - Shadow -  will be also walking 50 miles alongside Danielle and Ezra-Mae. I expect the very thought makes you go weak at the knees. 

On the COVID front, no one seems to bother any more. mask wearing is minimal, all activities look as if they are running normally and the swimming pool is crowded with families enjoying the last few days of their school holidays. It is a paradox that cases are rising and certain factions are really concerned that once school starts the numbers will go through the roof. Can we stomach another lockdown? I doubt it. We are too used to getting around a visiting like the old days.

This week an old friend from my days in Stevenage stopped over. It was lovely. Just like old times. We drank vino, did some girlie shopping and chilled. Next week I am expecting a friend from Singapore who has just got back to the UK. So many people have been relocating recently. I reckon we could do a great big reunion of Singapore friends in the UK. 

If only you could be around to be part of it. 

I miss you! Hugs and kisses

Love

XXX