Rats!

 Dear Marmite

As you well know, we have both been up front and close to these creatures. So you can imagine my horror and surprise while sitting on a very comfortable sofa, looking out on a very lovely garden in England when a not so little rat popped up on the lawn. Anticipating your deprecation, I'll tell you I shouted the bleeding obvious: "There's a rat!"

This not so little creature seemed at home in the garden and clearly had made a home under the wooden decking - probably with fifty of his closest relatives too. My friend Jane, jumped into action and before long rat poison had been inserted into every available hole around the decking. My exclamation really was a conversation stopper. 

We had been watching the birds come and go. Each time a larger bird arrived the smaller ones departed - they were clearly aware of a pecking order. The two pigeons had been attacking a bit of crusty bread when a seagull waddled in and swallowed the two -inch chunk of baguette whole. You could see it in its throat. 

Seagulls are greedy pests but they don't engender the same response from us as rats do! Yet it is common knowledge that we are never more than 10 meters from a rat. 

Definitely a cuddly creature worth celebrating

When I was on the West Highland Way with Sammi and Dylan, I pointed out to Dylan that the slight movement in the heather was most probably a haggis. I explained to him that the legs on their right side were considerably longer than those on the left as they only over ran round mountains in an anticlockwise direction. Dylan and Sammi were at a very low ebb at this time so the reason for our rest stop was to chivvy them both along. An old couple came past and asked after us. I said we had been haggis spotting. Without missing a heart beat, the old man said, "Och I, they are vicious little creatures too!" Wonderful! Dylan spent the rest of the holiday asking about them. He even checked out haggis on Mel's phone - there really are pictures of these elusive, hairy beasts yet they remain  so difficult to trap.

After the joy of Jubilee celebrations which I have to say were remarkably well done, we failed to get rid of Boris the Rat once again. He has wriggled out of yet another hole - the vote of no confidence -  and he lives to lie. Around the world, people look on the UK as a haven of justice and a hub for culture. I really believe, as a country, we market and  export ourselves incredibly well. Yet, we are a laundromat for the illegal gains from less than desirable regimes, we treat genuine asylum seekers inhumanely and have an embarrassing percentage of our own citizens living well below the poverty line. 

Our desire to splash out on a once-in-a-lifetime Platinum Jubilee is laudible yet we fail to sort any wrongs of our welfare system. This is almost as much of a paradox as the USA being pro-life but not curbing gun ownership so school children continued to be killed far too often. 

We truly do live in a very warped world. Sending you all my love. Tomorrow, the 9th, you are 15 and a 1/2 years old. Wow!!! You are doing better than the queen!

Love

XXX