Uh-Oh

 Dear Marmite

Misty moisty morning!

I think I am turning into a Teletubby. Not only do I watch kiddy programmes now, they seem to be affecting me deeply. More and more my level of intercourse sinks to "Uh oh" and similar. I am definitely more Dipsy than Tipsy! That is what inevitably happens when you have a toddler around, I suppose. I even think my simplified expressions stretch to the tennis court these days. With the way I play, there is ample room for lots of "Uh Ohs" and a few "D'ohs" - courtesy of Homer Simpson.

I'll give you an example. Ezra-Mae - as is her way - tips up my kitchen bin. I am actually quite annoyed but "Uh-oh" slips out. Maybe even a "Whoops-a-daisy". I restrain myself from letting an "oh bugger" slip - I know to save that for more adult company. 

Poorly little thing!

Last night I had Shadow for a sleepover as Ezra-Mae has been so ill she ended up in hospital dehydrated and full of cold - such was the nasty virus that she picked up. Uh oh... poor thing. Shadow is a very chill dog these days. She is 12 years old now so I would have thought she knew better than to plonk herself on my bed. I growled at her. That worked. She leapt off the bed, hung her head in shame and slunk to her mat. "Grrrrr" works well with dogs.

I know I am not the only person to regress with a child around. The other day while I was getting dry from my swim, in the next cubicle there came an almighty thud. There was a pause and then a scream. Obviously a fairly small child had fallen off the bench onto the hard floor. Clearly the Dad didn't realise this. He was clearly an expert in the bleeding obvious. He asked, "What happened?" If only the child could speak - I would expect his reply to be something like, "What do you think happened, Dad?  You were standing right next ot me. I hit my head on the floor when I fell off the seat. It hurts." 

I really think we have inbuilt language filters for such situations. I have spent this morning cuddling a poorly baby while Mum Danielle went for an appointment. Ezra-Mae really wasn't happy that Mum had dumped her and no amount of platitudes and CBBC programmes like "Night time in the Garden" made her feel any better. It wasn't all a waste of time though. I am now an expert on Makka Pakka, Upsy Daisy and Co. I even watched Room on the Broom - Brilliant!! Now Room on the Broom is an allegorical tale of how we should be inclusive. Even the cat came round to a better way of thinking. I am sure E-M picked up on it!

Meanwhile, when Ezra-Mae is in a better state, she calls me, "Nana" but she repeats this so it sounds a bit like a siren, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah". Perhaps there should be a warning for all approaching Grandmothers! Who knows!

So, Marms, life is pretty busy. Even I am full of cold today. You are in a warm, sunny place - be happy. 

Love you

XXX