Mine's a Boris!!

 Dear Marmite

You remarkable old man. It was lovely to see you up and walking just a week after your operation. I just hope I can look as good as that when I am well over a hundred!! Things are looking up for me. I have suffered mightily from a really painful hamstring for such a long time and I have tried almost everything to alleviate the pain. 

For much of the time it has felt like someone has hit me across the back of the left thigh with a cricket bat. You could say it felt like I had been knocked for six. All this pain suddenly disappeared when I got some anti- inflams from the NHS doctor. All this time I have been suffering from sciatica - a trapped nerve. Now I am medicated I could dance the night away, if only!!!

I said that mine's a Boris. I of course refer to my current hairstyle. It hasn't looked right since the first lockdown started and of course the longer my hair gets the more like Coco the Clown I look. In the past certain hairstyles have trended - the mullet, the bob, the beehive - and now most people like me are cherishing their very own Boris. The major characteristic of this style is the asymmetric, lop-sided look with variable lengths of hair jutting out. My latest version was courtesy of Danielle. 

As with hairdressers, plumbers are also elusive. The plumber who sorted out the house I moved into last year has told me on eight separate ocassions that he was coming round to sort out things he didn't do quite right first time round. I contacted him on 22nd July last year and since that time I have contacted him more times than I care to recall. 

He rarely answers so now I think it would be useful to publicise how little pride he must have in his workmanship. The biggest problem is that the thermostat on the heating system is a few degrees south of being accurate. This is OK when the weather is warm but not in freezing conditions when the automatic system should kick in. So when it gets cold, I wake up thinking of Effin Faisal the distrait plumber and his sidekick, Bilal of the wobbly doors!

On the home front, The Might Waa, AKA Ezra-Mae is now 6 weeks old and growing fast. I have threatened her on numerous ocassions with the possiblity of me singing to her. I can get her to sleep but she wakes up almost as soon as she is put down. So anything that happens in the house happens while holding a baby or passing the baby around. 

So Marms, this is my life as we head for the first stage in easing lockdown.  I have lots to look forward to. A vaccination, a potential visit from a plumber, sunnier days and tennis on March 29th. 

Love you

XXX