The Christmas Spirit

 Dear Marmite

Once more I fear that Christmas Spirit might be in short supply. The government is given to a lot of pifflewaffle muttering about plan B or even PLAN C but no one is prepared to give definitive direction. So on this "advice" I am full steam ahead for cautious Christmas FUN!

However, I got rather to the the heart of things and feel I have a few insights since I went to a Christmas Quiz at the Conservative Club in Bletchley. For brevity I'll call it the Con Club and the name seems apt. I had never crossed the threshold of one of these places before so to me it was a real eye opener. It is just like I imagine a northern, working man's social club - a large, badly decorated room with a sad, artifical tree leaning to the right. 

I ordered a drink which was very nearly poured into a mucky glass - eagle eyed me spotted this just in time. Was this a metaphor, I wondered? Our host promised food. I expected to be getting a proper meal - maybe even Christmas fayre. I had saved myself for this treat. Looking at the scribbled chalk menu, I noticed the choice was rather limited - cheeseburger and chips, hot dog or scampi and chips - our team held back and resisited as none of this excited us. By the time we relented, the kitchen had closed. It was 8:30 and the quiz was in full swing. In some small way we have done our bit to save the planet as the Con Club serves meals in polystyrene boxes. What does that say about our government's green policy? 

At least we won. The prizes weren't great but there is always the warm smug glow I feel for having sat with intelligent but hungry friends!  After the quiz we did a takeaway from a kebab shop in the main street of Bletchley. It was top notch yummy. We sat outside the shop in a cold dank mist and ate it - even funnier -  we played a game to name songs or artists with colour in the name. Then we went on to a karaoke pub - nuff said... What a funny night it was.

Christmas cheer abounded at my local tennis club. Despite heavy mist and nippy conditions, enough silly people plus a musical penguin showed up to the social. It wasn't quite the Red Hat Socials from my previous life but it was fun even though I had numb fingers by the end. 

I went to my local village church again and I can't help thinking how blessed I have been to have found a home in such a friendly little village. This time there was an "elf" organisist and we sang carols through face masks. One of the congregation insisted on this even though we were in separate pews. Afterwards I hung around for mincepies and a chat. We all took our masks off for this and mingled in a much cosier part of the church. No one saw any irony in our close proximity without masks on. After all, had anyone planning this thought how we could possibly eat delicious homemade mincepies through a cloth barrier?

So as I head towards Christmas and the number of COVID cases grows daily, I have at least three swims, a couple more quizzes, another knock on the court, a trip to Tescos- err...and a partridge in a pear tree....

So, Marms, on our third Christmas apart, I'll be thinking what to do with the excess turkey gravy with you not here with me to lap it up. I do know that you won't go short of hugs and treats though. You are in a wonderful loving pair of hands. 

Merry Christmas old boy. 

Hugs and kisses.

XXX

Mad Dogs...

 Dear Marmite

I know you must have heard the saying; Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun - well, over here Englishmen appear to be even more crazy than the saying suggests. Here is why. I went walking in the rain last Sunday with Ezra-Mae in the stroller plus Shadow on her extending lead. Along the bank of the canal for as far as I could see were MEN.. Just men - sitting on a wet canal bank in damp, chilly conditions dipping their lines in the water. Apparently it was a competition. Madness! 

My walk with Shadow proved that she is herself, a little mad too. Holding an extending lead with a chunky handle while pushing a stroller on bumpy ground is not ideal. This you must realise, is an understatement. The daft dog kept walking ahead and then across my path garrotting Ezra-Mae who was tucked up in the stroller. When the mood took her, this silly dog then dropped back until the lead was stretched and I was jerked to one side as I was pushing.This made the stroller lurch to the side.  I know that you wouldn't have behaved in such a despicable way. 

I have told Danielle that if I have both dog and baby again, I need a proper lead. I need one that isn't stretchy. The annoyance of this will stay with me, no doubt for some time. I returned home grumpy and muttering about the mud, the dog and  the weather. Once in my garden I stuck Shadow in a bucket of water to wash the worst of the mud off and left her to shake herself down while I sorted out the baby. 

To be honest, I thought about dunking  myself in a bucket the previous day. I had been to Wolverton Christmas Fair where I had felt pleasantly warmed by the atmosphere and music despite the continual drizzle. I cycled to the fair and then when the rain had reached downpour proportions, I decided enough was enough, I needed to return before it got dark as well. Cycling  home along the towpath, I ended up covered in mud and I was wet through despite wearing a raincoat that clearly hadn't lived up to my expectation of keeping me dry. I am still not sorted with the right clothes for English weather and I have been back for almost two years. 

Locally, in a small town, the lights for Christmas look spectacular. My photo hasn't done them justice. Small market towns steeped in history have ridden the COVID storm admirably. The specialist shops look as if they are thriving despite the gloomy economic news.  On the high Street, the food delivery robots were neatly lined up outside Costa Coffee - I presume they were waiting patiently in line for a carry out to warm their wheels before they set off to deliver goodies.  The scene was very much 2020s but the feel could have been Victorian. Even on a damp evening, the decorations looked beautiful. Well done Stony. You lifted my spirits. 

Perhaps it was this shot in the arm that inspired me to write my Christmas cards at 6am this morning. They have stamps on them and they will be in the post today! The lights in my livingroom are currently draped over a curtain pole. They are still not up. I am giving myself a SMART deadline... December 2022. After all, I have all the time in the world. 

You are in a better place, Marms. No winter chill to ache your joints.

Love you as always

XXX

Plain Daft

 Dear Marmite

The weather here is not nice. It is either damp and raining or crispy cold. Too cold to enjoy being out playing tennis matches, that's for sure. Yet, yesterday that is what I did. I still see pictures of the tennis events at my old club and people there are wearing very little. The pictures are current and they are all standing on sunny courts. This is the sort of tennis I consider normal. On the other hand, over here I have to get dressed up to play and my recent purchases have all been for thermal stuff. I even bought a pair of gloves that can grip a racquet - but I don't recommend holding a racquet like that. I haven't even decided on the best combination of layers for free movement. Over the course of a game I shed some of these layers, but still, I am beginning to see games such as chess as being more my thing even though I once tore a disc playing that. Moments like these, I reckon I must be plain daft. 

We are well into December and I haven't forgotten a certain old dog's birthday coming up this week. Sadly though, December birthdays do tend to play second fiddle to all the things we need to do to get ready for Christmas. I feel busy just thinking about Christmas. My tree is up. My lights went up around the livingroom and then came down again - three times. They are still in a heap on top of my wine bottles. I am awaiting inspiration on this hiccup. Meanwhile, I feel an urge to drink the vino and forget the lights. I have bought Christmas cards hoping they might write themselves - ooops. I have also thought it would be nice to decorate the tree in my garden with delicate lights. I am still thinking about it and as they say, it is the thought that counts.

I feel totally uninspired doing any Christmas shopping. I went to a craft fair advertised to open at 10am and when I turned up with Danielle and little one, it said it was opening at 11. I am thinking about going to another craft fair. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. 

Last night the village had a lighting up ceremony. A brass band from the local town turned up and played beautifully. There were braziers lit up on the green at the end of my road where the "do" was happening and there, a tent had been set up to sell mulled wine and mince pies. It was a really heart-warming affair despite the cold. I fully expected the large tree on the green to be the feature for the lights. To me, it seemed contemporary and imposing. My focus was on that one. I didn't notice it was an unassuming, minature Christmas tree on the other side of the road that we did the countdown for. When I realised which tree was the ONE, I muffled a little giggle at my stupidity. 

So as you can see, Marms, time slips by and we are heading for my second Christmas here in the UK. I have known nothing of a "normal" existence here as I arrived home and almost immediately it was lockdown.

In many ways I can imagine another year of COVID life ahead of me and it makes me sigh.  Our statistics are obviously the wrong side of dreadful. I am beginning to dream of travelling to far flung places. My feet are getting itchy.

Meanwhile, I have been doing a bit of painting to while away the hours. I have to say, this really does make the time fly. Before leaving Singapore I thought of setting up an art shack / garage but even that is now a distant thought. Maybe I think too much!

What do you think, Marms?

Love

XXX

A bit nippy!

 Dear Marmite

It is official - I am a little mad. This morning I left a nice, warm comfy bed to play tennis in -2c. I realised it was going to be cold when I started the car and sprayed my windsrceen. The squirted water froze before the wipers could clean the grey film of dust away. I also had to head east towards the tennis club into a really bright sun that loomed just above the horizon. Not ideal conditions on so many fronts!

The biggest problem when I got on court was actually gripping the racquet with numb fingers. I tried wearing gloves but they were too bulky to actually have any control. Worse still was serving. Each time I reached up for the ball, my four layers of  upper-body clothing parted company with my leggings leaving a wedge of podge exposed to the elements. Contrasting this with the  current FB pictures of my old tennis club in a warm climate made me wonder why I made that decsion to get out of bed in the first place. The only compensation for the morning was that my partner and I won.

Storm Arwen ripped through the UK on Friday and yesterday I took Ezra-Mae out in the tail end of it. She was well-wrapped up in a snug stroller and slept through most of the walk while winds battered me and challenged me to keep walking in a straight line. I was out for a good hour and when I got back my watch said I had done 1300 steps! I know this to be wrong and I know why now. When I hold onto the pushchair the steps don't get counted. Nor do the lengths in the pool when I do legs only. My typical day in Singapore saw me doing between 17,000 and 23,000 steps. This watch records a much more sedentary lifestyle.

Ezra-Mae has taken to pulling herself up on the furniture so I have had to put protective corners on stuff around my living room. But as with all babies, you cannot totally child-proof a home. The funniest moment yesterday was watching her trying to get to standing while looking at her reflection in the oven door. She was OK on her knees and looking in but when she pushed up onto her socked feet she slid backwards. Undeterred, she did this again and again but never actually got to a standing position. She can't quite reach the coffee table either so for the time being, anything on there is out of reach.

This week I had my moment of stardom! I was interviewed for Look East - a news programme. The interviewer asked my name and then how to spell it. He then asked me about something to do with volunteering and stuck his microphone out towards me for an answer. It was all over in a flash. 

Me on TV

In retrospect, I feel I should have been forewarned about the question and given time to look less dishevelled. I had, just moments before, been knocking down a tree. I am sure I could have given it a better shot than I did. Despite this, loads of people contacted me to say they had seen me on TV and I hadn't realised it was going out so soon.

I also got to see some friends for a wonderful pub meal this week. It was a bit of a Singapore reunion so, as you can imagine, Marms, we did a lot of talking about the old times. You were mentioned. In fact, you were responsible for getting my steps up each day. All those lovely walks before dawn - I bet you still tremble at the very thought...

Life is so much kinder to you in your dotage!! 

Love you

XXX

A trip to A&E

 Dear Marmite

This week has definitely been a curate's egg of a week. I went to Milton Keynes University hospital very late in the eveing last Tuesday as I had something wrong with my right eye. Many might think it is because I have been looking at naughty things. This was not the case. When my eye first started hurting, I thought I had got some paint in it. I washed it out, put drops in it, held it open, looked at google with my good eye to see if it could explain my agony...

As the evening rolled on, the pain in my eye grew worse until I couldn't see my phone to look up advice on 111. 111 is the NHS website that helps people like me with minor problems. I phoned the help line and was told to get to hospital. Very kindly at 10:30pm Nasser took me down to the hospital which is situated the other side of MK from where I live.

My experience there was not a pleasant one and I probably shouldn't compare it to Gleneagles on Napier Road. The floor was filthy, notices hung limply off walls, glass and chairs! The whole place had the appearance of abject neglect. Even with one eye I had plenty of time to take the scene in. Nasser said it was worse than Syrian hospitals used to be.

The doctor was caring though, and spent time irrigating my eye and checking it out. This brought to mind the time when Sammi had conjunctivitis - picked up from the Mumbai slums. In NUH, the doctor used a camera to look at his eye and the image came up on a screen as large as any TV in a living room. I am not squeemish but seeing a sore eye on a massive scale wasn't nice. I just wonder what mine looked like that night.

Suffice to say, I am now over it. I can see now and I have been swimming a couple of times too. I hope that Nasser has recovered as he spent almost the whole night sleeping in my car, waiting for me and it must have been cold and uncomfortable. What increased my guilt was that it was his birthday and he had to get up early for work - poor man. On so many fronts, visiting A&E was an eye-opener!

Danielle won't let me forget about the anti-climactic birthday cake I gave to Richard last summer. It was a joke from me and I actually described it as such before giving him a fancy, shop-bought one. So when I made a carrot cake with cream cheese topping for Nasser's birthday, Danielle reminded me and then Nasser's family that that cake too was anti-climactic. Probably all cakes from now on will be named as such. This doesn't bode well for me ever wanting to be a Bake-Off contestant, does it?

While I am on the subject of things going badly, I have to tell you that someone knocked my front wall down last Saturday. This isn't exactly accurate. It was their car that ended up in my front garden without human intervention. Such that village life is, news got to me almost immediately, and, I wasn't at home. I was at another house in the village having fun watching the rugby. With a little help, the owner of the car was tracked down. She has promised to fix mine and my neighbour's wall so hopefully the rubble will be a temporary feature of the front of my home.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in the UK. I expect that Deepavali has seemlessly morphed into Christmas lights in Singapore too. I love Christmas as you know, Marms. I go all out to make it special but there are things that I really don't understand anymore. Number one - why are there mince pies and a myriad of other Christmas goodies on the shelf that don't have a shelf life that even gets to mid December? Number two - all the decorations that I have noticed so far look cheap, tacky and Chinese. Where is our commitment to not having single use plastics? Number three - How come the UK has adopted Black Friday? I thought January sales were the British way to dump unwanted things on the British public - obviously Black Friday is yet another opportunity to exercise our ability to consume the world.

Bah humbug!!! Just get the spoons out... Christmas WILL be fun whatever. I just wish you were here to share it with me, Marms

Love you

XXX

Two years ago my journey started

 Dear Marmite

I moved out of our house in Singapore two years ago yesterday and how time has flown. Even so, looking back at lot of things have happened since that day. Even now I still miss Dairy Farm but I have to say that friends who knew my home in Singapore reckon that my place here in the UK is very similar in feel. I like where I live now but it is not Dairy Farm.

Slowly my home over here is taking shape. This week the flooring finally got laid and it has made a big difference to the noise in the room. The old stuff looked like lino. It was shiny, orange and cheap-looking. Now the feel of the wooden flooring is much earthier and surprisingly quieter. Having this done means there is one more thing to tick off my checklist. 

I have an electrician coming round tomorrow, and providing his quote is reasonable, that will be another thing I can tick off. The power shower needs fixing or replacing, some lights need sorting, as do a few of my sockets. So as you can see, I have made quite a list. Little niggles are par for the course when you move house. It has taken me much longer than most to get round to doing them.

While all this is happening, I am slowly tackling the painting too. I did the hallway the other day. It certainly looks better for it. The only trouble is that I have paint and painting stuff lying around and this looks a little messy.  I took time out to doodle while the floor was being done - that made time slip away. So two steps forward, one step back on the progress front. 

The nights are drawing in and by 5 o'clock I need to put lights on indoors. In the shops everything is now red and tinsely. There are still gaps on the shelves and all is not well on the retail front but you would not think that nearly 100 people are dying of COVID everyday and infection rates are just under 40,000 every day here in the UK. I have noticed that some shops are withdrawing sanitising stations at the front and fewer people put masks on even in the shops. So here at least it seems to be SNAFU.

Last Saturday I went for a curry in a bank! It used to be a bank and its history has been thinly disguised. I think the table where I sat was probably where people queued for the teller. The place was packed, the food was good and with my doggy bag I have had curry for the two days since. A little highlight in my life!

Yesterday being Rememberance Sunday, I went to the local church for the service. I learned that 40 men gave their lives to war in this parish. Considering how rural it is, that must have been a big sacrifice. As a stranger, I was introduced to lots of people so I had the challenge of remembering everyone's name by the end and what they were important for. As with the pub, the village is a very welcoming place. 

I am also getting to know some of the local dogs too. I don't know their names though. There are rather a lot of them and I am sure you would have felt quite at home here. I am glad that you are still keeping well and enjoying life over in Singapore though. It is the best place to be even though I miss you dearly.

Love you loads as always

Love

XXX

A very mixed bag, Marms

 Dear Marmite

Happy Deepavali, Marms, and stay off those wonderful sweets...I miss you.

Now I am eight hours behind you. The clocks seemlessly went back one hour last Sunday which effectively meant another hour in bed for everyone in the UK. Everything in my house except my wall clock and my body clock understood this. I sprung to life around 5:15am and was ready to hit the day. To be honest my body clock still hasn't made that small adjustment. What is wrong with me?

Last Sunday wasn't actually worth getting up for. I played wall-to-wall Canasta, with my friend who was staying with me. Meanwhile, a storm ripped through the countryside and tore many trees down. It blew most of the leaves off my tree in the garden and it blew down the ceanothus by my front door. This was probably about 3 metres high and was firmly fixed to the fence before the storm. I have given it a good pruning, wrestled it back in place - who knew that trees fight back? and - pinned it back against the fence. Despite the fight, it doesn't look too worse for wear, even though I say so myself.

One of my peacocks fell victim to the storm too. It lost its tail and now lays in two pieces on my balcony. I want to get this fixed but am not too sure how. Some friends thought this peacock was a real one. I can reassure you, Marms, I would act much faster if it was a real animal in trouble. Well, nearly all real animals - rats are an exception to my rule.

Effin' M&S have exceded expectations once again. They are the rats of customer service! This week they sent yet another cushion cover to me to replace the original one that has a flaw in the material. This time it arrived at the correct address for which I must thank them. It is also the right style - no piping this time. Again this is an advance on previous attempts. However, this time it is the wrong colour - this one is a few tones too green and is noticeably different from the other covers. I have emailed them but unsurpisingly no one has bothered to reply as yet. The saga continues...

My woes are manifold. I ordered flooring for my living room and kitchen area. It was in stock and it arrived on time to the right place. I also co-ordinated all this with finding a contractor to lay the flooring two days after delivery. What could possibly go awry, I asked myself. Well. the contractor delayed the arrangement to the Friday and then didn't show up or answer his phone. Finally he re-arranged fitting to the Monday and then the same thing happened. I was more than irked by this as I have cleared my living room of all but the heavy furniture. It is an echoey cave now and not comfy at all. 

So having carted all things moveable out of the way, I now await a time when someone will come and fit 23 boxes of wooden flooring that I have currently stored downstairs,  creating an obstacle course! I started to feel really angry that Phil the floorer had stood me up until I found out that he was in hospital in a critical condition. My stance on him has since softened somewhat.

So, Marms, as you can see life is not easy here on so many levels. The weather gets more wintery every day and, as I realised once more yesterday while on a walk around Woburn, that I do not have the clothes to keep me warm and dry. It really was a lovely walk spoilt only by a perpetual downpour that went through my "waterpoof" jacket and my clothes until I resembled a drowned rat. 

Damp and rather less than upbeat I returned home to a house in darkness. There had been a power outage to 190 homes in the village since 1pm and by the time I got home I was in total darkness and it was cold. I couldn't make any coffee - obviously - so I climbed into bed and read my kindle. It would have been so much better if you had been here to cuddle. 

But as it is, you are a long way away and in a far better place.

I love you soooo much and think about you every day, you wonderful old man. Please keep the pictures coming!

Love

XXX