Disruption on a mammoth scale

 Dear Marms

With Billie Bump AKA Ezra-Mae now a week old, my memory of life BB (Before Billie) has slipped into the recesses of my mind. For those who might have forgotten how much time a baby takes up, I'll remind you. 

There is the 24 hour rota of the feeding, the changing of nappies, the burping, the rocking to sleep and the worry. Between these are the infrequent opportunites to snatch a bit of shut-eye. Then there is the added worry that this weeny 3kg bundle of joy is NORMAL. Any part of this is exhausting and all together it probably feels like the end of life as we know it for Mum and Dad.

I have done my bit to help. I take Shads out for walkies and I take the little one for a couple of hours so that Danielle and Richard can rest. I even had time to have a go at drawing Billie badly. Until now, I had never imagined how much a father can do to help with babyhood. Richard has been brill whereas I never had more than a nod of support. 

One of the high points of my despair was when Sammi was in hospital awaiting an operation at 4 weeks of age. I couldn't leave him alone on the ward in his little glass box so I asked Barry to get me some food for the day. He asked what so I said, some rolls and cheese thinking that would be an example of something I could eat with no preparation. He did exactly as I asked - literally. He brought along a lunch box with two bread rolls and a lump of cheese for 24 hours' worth of food. There wasn't even a knife to slice the chunk of cheese with. A fine example of thoughtfulness, to be sure. Fathers certainly take a greater share these days.

The houses either side of ours have also got newborns. To the left another girl, and to the right a boy  -  all born in the same month.  The walls are thick enough for us to not know whether the other babies are crying. So this is all very good for neighbourly camaraderie - and potential play dates some way down the road, hopefully.

I have realised there is something about parenthood that loosens tongues. All body functions are now open topics of conversation. Let's start with the state of nappies. We talk about whether the nappy is wet or not, whether there was a poo or not and it doesn't stop there. Colour, consistency, frequency etc. are stock conversations with anyone and everyone. Phone up to find out how Bonnie Billie is doing and you will have a full graphic update. Her ability to poo is a point of pride. 

While all this is going on, we have been without internet for a week. The broadband provider has been very helpful and once the BT Openreach engineer came to sort the issue, we were up and running in no time. the trouble was nothing to do with us, it was a green box quite some distance from us. Who would have guessed? I did all the usual bits of turning it off and turning it on again, swearing at it, etc. etc. but clearly this time it really was something I needed help with. The worst part of this is that our heating is linked to the central heating so we had to do things manually for a week and that was an  added fag - an expensive one to boot.

So as you can see, Marms, we are coping. There is snow on the ground outside, the mortality from COVID has reached 100,000 in the UK this week. The government continue their shambolic control over BREXIT, COVID, education, and yet we are here to celebrate the joy of new life. We are truly blessed.

Missing you as always. Sending my hugs your way.

Love

XXX

Our family has grown

 Dear Marmite

It is with great excitement that I tell you that Billie Bump burst into this world at 3:19pm on January 19th weighing in at 3.1kg. Some people will call her something other than Billie but this name might just stick in some circles. 

In times of COVID, Richard could not be with Danielle for much of her labour but he was there for the most important bit. I haven't seen Danielle or Billie Bump yet, except on video; they are coming home later today. Despite all the pressure that our NHS is under, Richard said that every single person in the hospital was marvellous. 

Apparently she looks like like a Mead - Richard's family. As Richard said last night, Danielle doesn't look like me so it is unlikely that the baby will. She is beautiful. My contribution was to be the taxi service, on call 24 hours. 

Thank you people far and wide who have sent their well wishes. We are blessed in every possible way. I am personally walking on cloud nine.

I now spread my love to another little human and love you too.

Hugs

XXX

Big day ahead - I'm in charge of Shad the Bad!

 Dear Marmite

Amidst all the other really rather tedious days this one will stand out. This is the day that Danielle goes into hospital to have Billie Bump. I had a Simba moment in a dream last night where I held up a baby girl to the world. This is actually the first dream I have had about the baby and she was definitely a Billie! If this dream is truly prophetic it will be the first time ever that I have been right about the gender of an unborn. Watch this spot, Marms!

As you know, Danielle is being induced two weeks early. She was born in a VW Beetle at the traffic lights near The Grand Memorial Hospital on Grand Bahama so with this in mind I have suggested to Richard he drive Danielle through as many sets of traffic lights as he can in a city that is all roundabouts to encourage the birth along. He reckons the big roundabout just north of us in Old Stratford which feeds the A5 would be a good a route as any. It has three sets of traffic lights all in one place. If he goes round there enough times without exiting then that should do the trick.

There is a downside to this. With all the traffic cameras in operation, police might be onto his strange behaviour after a while and pull him over. I realise this could take a lot of explaining to your average PC Plod. It would, however, make a good headline. 

I also think it could be a little safer than entering the COVID war zone in MK Hospital. The numbers are still rising and only now has the government tumbled on the fact that people coming and going from Britain are potential carriers. So now flights are restricted even more. People can currently arrive in the UK, travel by puplic transport to anywhere and in the country and isolate or not - as they wish. I know from multiple sources that no one bothers to check up on what you do.

In true Bumbling Boris fashion, the second dose of the vaccine has been delayed from 21 days to 12 weeks. The promise of blanket school testing has also gone out of the window. That man would have trouble organising a piss up in a brewery. At the end, each one of us suffers from his gross incompetence. 

As for me, I still have an asthmatic cough. It gets me when I move from indoors to outside and vice versa. Fortunately, it guarantees space in a supermarket so that is a net benefit of having a wheeze. I have had a COVID test and I am negative. I was positive it wasn't the virus even before I got tested.

I have stepped up to the plate and now I am looking after Shadow. I have promised to walk her, feed her and not kick her about too much. She is also moving into my bedroom for the duration!! Her old habits of biting your ankles, Marms, and muscling in on anything meant for you are probably ingrained even though she no longer has another dog to pester. I still call "Marmite" and she comes to me. She hasn't seen you for 6 years now - remarkable... 

So my lovely old man, our family is growing. Danielle and Richard have left the house for a journey that will last a life time.

Love you as always

XXX

I am slowly losing the plot

 Dear Marmite

I have been in lockdown for the third time for a period of time I can't measure. I can't even remember when it started. I am existing in a vacuum where days drift by and I don't really do anything. Of course I go out each day and have a bit of fresh air but even that makes me a little irked. Just round the corner from where I live is a recreation ground which even on the coldest of days is a little like Piccadilly Circus. 

I look peevishly at these hordes gathered in knitted groups and hold them responsible for my current state. The term over here for people like that is Covidiots and now we have 935 infections per 100,000 in MK you might think just one of them would make a link between their behaviour and this crisis. 

A small tinge of sympathy for these people wells up from the Cummings Effect from the first lockdown. That was not only that that Covidiot needed an eyesight test 250 miles from home, it is also the rest of the bumbling entourage that is still leading the UK down the pan. I can understand why no one actually takes notice of what they are asked to do. The current news infers that some are calling for even tougher measures. When the current ones are not adhered to then what is the point of dreaming up more ways to spoil the party. 

Billie Bump is due to burst into the world in less than a week. The hospital she is going to is overwhelmed with COVID patients. Apparently nationally the hospitals are expecting the biggest influx this week as the aftermath of  the Christmas get-togethers that weren't supposed to happen. I am just a tad concerned that my grandchild will arrive in the world in a place that has a very high concentration of people with COVID - not a good start to life. 

Danielle, Mum-to-be; on the other hand, arrived in a pre-1968 VW Beetle on Grand Bahama Island. In retrospect there is much to recommend this type of birth. The weather was warm for starters although her father behaving like a demented Basil Fawlty when his car broke down doesn't fulfill my image of the perfect idyll on that moment - not a spectacularly supportive sort of partner in a crisis to be sure! Let's hope Richard will step up to the plate.

It was lovely to be invited to a Zoom with Dairy Farmers last weekend. The condo has always been so full of interesting people with so much to share - a number of writers among them. Bryn Barnard told us about his book, Outbreak. I read it in bed last night after buying that and one other from Amazon (sorry world - my purchasing options are limited and yes, I do harbour guilt). The book is about how pandemics have changed the world. Not only did I learn so much from the zoom, I also got to see old neighbours. thank you, Kevin.

The only thing that is occupying my thoughts beyond becoming a grandmother again and this time sharing the sleepless nights, is where I will move to. I look at Zoopla in much the same way as I look at FB. I check the top three house pictures that fit my filters twice a day. Now I have upped my budget, there is quite a lot to choose from. All I need is the cash! 

Talking of cash, I see that Rita has splashed out on a raincoat for you, Marms. I also see from your picture that you are not happy to wear said coat. I know that Singapore has had more than its fair share of rainfall - 40 hours of continuous rain I heard. So you either go out and get wet or you go out and look grumpy covered in a doggie raincoat. ALL dogs need to go for walkies, even you. 

Next picture, I want to see you full of smiles Marmite - you hear? 

Love you as always

Love

XXX

We could be heading for tier 6 and beyond

 Dear Marmite

Very soon indeed the government of this country will expect me to move no further than 5 meters from my sofa. This will be tier 6. Last night however, with lots of bluff and bluster after denying that any further lockdowns were necessary, Boris put the whole of England into tier 5. This means I can go out for essential exercise, go to essential shops, but very little else.

My hair needs a good cut. So for me a hairdressers would count as an essential shop. This is not on the list though. Also, as Danielle pointed out, people who need shoes can only buy them from the internet and old dears like me often aren't savvy enough to buy things on line. I actually can't disagree with that. 

Before Christmas I wanted some warm winter boots - snow boots really. They had to be waterproof and look reasonably smart and certainly not be wellies. I really liked a pair of Sorel ones but there were none in my size to start with. Then there were but they cost an arm and a leg. I started looking at other makes and I have since bought very nice, well-fitting boots at least £20 less than I was going to pay. One small whoopsie - they are not waterproof. Being waterproof was my number one priority too. C'est la vie!

I have also narrowed my focus on what I am looking for housewise. I initially wanted a plot of land or a real doer-upper as a project. Looking around, nothing really ticks those boxes. From our little jaunt, I do know that I want a non-estate house, possibly in a village nearby or an older part of MK. Also, after doing a reccie with Nasser, I have found I like houses that are about £50,000 above my initial budget. With the next new lockdown I will keep looking but I doubt that there will be much action in the housing market.

Exciting times are ahead and possibly a few sleepless nights too. Billie Bump is being induced in two weeks. The moses basket is ready for her arrival and "Bump bear" is keeping it warm in the interim. Danielle needed nighties and a dressing gown for hospital. It only took her week to decide what sort of dressing gown she wanted. For me, it was a very long week indeed. 

She liked mine - a marks and sparks cotton towelling one - but - I owned one like that so she wanted something else. I steered her away from man-made polyester ones which narrowed the field but getting Danielle to make a decision is like trying to pin jelly to a wall. To the relief of all who know her, she has  chosen a lavender towelling one and very nice it is too.

Marmite, the start of my New Year here in the UK has been uneventful really. I pine for times when I can meet up with friends again and I feel a pang of envy when friends in Australia, NZ and Singapore are leading "normal" lives. Until at least the middle of February I have no tennis, no swimming and no plans. I need a hug.

Miss you, my lovely old man.

Love

XXX

The Final Countdown

 Dear Marmite

You and I have made it through 2020. That year should have signposted perfect vision and clarity. Instead what we got was muddle-headed thinking in a world gone mad. So much so that I have found it difficult to look back on my world and see many really distinguishing features. As a person retired I don't notice weekends anymore - so nothing to look forward to short term. As a person deprived of adventure, travel and sport, I have had my morose moments - probably too many - where I wonder what the point of it all is.

                                         New Year's Day from my window

As an aide memoire, I have looked back on my year in terms of numbers. I visited 10 countries last year - YES! 10 different ones. WOW! I completed 364 quick crosswords, and a few less Sudokus thanks to The Guardian. I had about 6 meals out that I can remember. I played tennis a handful of times, swam miles and got lost on my bike more times than Nasser cares to remember. 

I saw my son just 4 times - this includes 2 visits to Scotland. I went to one COVID funeral  - I still think of Mike passing on without those he loved around him. That has to be the worst of all the aspects of this damned virus. Also,  I haven't really connected with friends except through face time. Again, this is an oddity of our world. Real hugs and kisses don't exist for me anymore. I just send virtual ones to you, Marms.

Despite all this, I have two houses and I really want one that I want to live in. My efforts for this new year will be plunged into finding my forever home. I want to stay in the MK area. At least I am sure of this. Last year at this time, that wasn't in my plan. I was in Turkey one year ago  - a place I would love to visit again. While we are talking of numbers, there are so many trips I would love to do before too long. The longer I am holed up, the longer the list grows. Singapore and seeing you is high up on my agenda, Marms.

As one day morphs into another, this New Year's Day doesn't feel any different but I feel it should. I haven't made any resolutions - just a vague lists of things I want to do and things I want to happen. 

One thing is for sure. I aim to make the most of the passing moments, stay connected with my friends across the world and laugh long and often. 

To you, Marms, the happiest of New Years.. Hugs across the airwaves...

                                                                          Cheers!!

Love

XXX