a toilet brush moment

 Dear Marmite

Despite having a wonderful birthday filled with laughter and far too much cake, there are things afoot that don't seem right in my life. Now that I have moved - and I consider my new home a birthday present to myself - things aren't going too smoothly.

It started with a toilet brush! I ordered two from Amazon the day after I moved in. Every home needs toilet brushes. I still don't have those ones. I spoke to someone at Amazon who reordered them and they didn't arrive. I am now awaiting a refund. That hasn't arrived either. 

I did an IKEA shop to buy my toilet brushes and as everyone knows a trip to IKEA is always expensive so my brushes plus spares must have cost me at least fifty quid, We all know what shopping at IKEA is like.

That isn't the end of it. I ordered a chair which I was told would arrive yesterday. It did. It arrived at another address I have never lived at, some doors down from my old house. The man in the van phoned me and said he would be with me in 30 minutes. After 90 I phoned him back and he told me he had delivered it and he was on his way home. He said the household where it was delivered were surprised but took the chair anyway. 

Danielle, God bless her, popped round to the house where the chair was delivered and told them the chair was mine. I later went and picked it up. These people had unwrapped it and made it theirs so I needed their help to get it in the back of my car. Bloody Cheek. I am fuming still. So now I will probably have a protracted run in with Homes Direct, the company who happily took my money for a chair ordered over a month ago.

I am rather concerned that the washing machine that is on order from Currys and taking rather a long time will be plumbed into some stranger's house. Who knows? anything seems possible the way things are going.

Over lockdown and mask wearing I have lost so many earrings. I am down almost to single odd ones which I am threatening to wear for a new era, lop-sided look. I set off on my bike on my birthday not wearing a mask and still managed to lose an earring. I found it on the road on my way home - YAY. Then today when I was trimming the cut flowers, I think the ear loop bit got swept up with the dead leaves and I can't find that bit now. I think it is in the compost bin but I can't see it. YUCK. So my job today is to rebuild a pair from the remaining bits.

On the plus side I have had lots of help getting my place straight. I have some of my pictures on the wall and it is looking a bit more homely. I have also started cycling to have my swim. It is a lovely trip down the tow path and back again. Yesterday it was like a holiday camp. All the long boats were alive and buzzing well before 8am. People were sitting on the bank drinking their morning drinks and ignoring their dogs who were hell bent on a death wish to get under my wheels. 

I have things to look forward to as well - a friend visiting, a trip to Cambridge, a meet up with an old uni friend - more swimming, cycling and tennis... It would have been lovely if you could share all this with me, Marms. I know you would have loved it. 

Thank you for your birthday wishes. You, Marms and peeps from all over the world (excludung Antarctica) sent lovely greetings. This just shows how small our world really is. That alone made my day special.

Love you as always, Hugs

XXX

Before and After

 Dear Marmite

I am truly moved. I now live in a house with the auspicious number 8 and it is HOME. It is my pied de terre and a little bijou to boot. There is even a balcony where you could watch doggy TV. Getting from there on November 14th to here has been a little traumatic but made easier with the help of friends. I couldn't have done it alone and although I say it myself. Thank you, friends.

I really do think the furniture goes well in its new surroundings. Even the boxes add a little Je ne sais pas. I will have to wait til July 19th for my sofa and I am also in desperate need of curtains too. I  promise I won't be dancing naked around the bedroom until they are up in deference to the neighbours who all seem very nice indeed. One should never aim to lower the tone of the neighbourhood too quickly!

I have a friend who is currently in quarrantine in a five star hotel in KL. He returned from the UK and under Malaysia rules must stay in this room for 14 days. He told me he is doing an exercise programme from Youtube each day. This in itself is very commendable but he does it with no clothes on as his clothes have to last the duration of his imprisonment and he doesn't want to get them sweaty. ( no available pics). Let's hope there are suitable curtains! So that he doesn't self harm he is not given a knife to eat his food with. I just wonder if they have removed his shoe laces and razor as well to limit his options on that front. 

I finally got my hair cut last Thursday as well. The lady who did the deed told me that these days we can get away with the wild look. This was a reference to my hair prior to being tamed. I feel there was a guarded politeness about the description. Previously it had been attacked by both Nasser and Danielle. This had been much the case for the past year so I deserved a bit of pampering. At least I don't think about putting a hat on before leaving home now.

I have house guests. When I shampooed the carpets, loads of earwigs crawled out from between the skirting boards and the edge of the carpet - literally loads!! I don't like them but I am calmer about them than I was with the rats that moved in to my Singapore home while I was away in Cambodia. At least I won't be buying special sausages to ensure the demise of these little creatures. I can laugh about those rodent house guests now but at the time I was in uber panic mode. I know you weren't too worried about them, Marms. But then, you were never too worried about anything. 

So there you have it. My life has moved on to a new stage. This may not be my forever home but it is good enough for now. I have a nice guest room downstairs. The bed has been reconstructed without reference to the original instructions by me. I can't guarantee its safety but it doesn't wobble too much and I used all the screws available.  I was also creative about my choice of tools. So anyone who visits must take their chance! 

If only you could be here my lovely old man. Miss you as always

Love

XXX

The Curate's Egg

 Dear Marmite

This describes my weekend. It was good in parts but I fully expected to have spent it in my new house. My bank, however, had other ideas. They noticed unusual activity on my account and blocked the transfer of money for the house so I couldn't complete on the purchase. 

I know many children rely on Bank of MumandDad these days. I have to say a big thank you to my children for lending me money to move things along. I have big debts to Bank of Kids. All this was necessary because of those bankers whose names start with a big, big "W". I should have trained you, Marms to bite their ankles. Shadow would!

This in effect left me homeless - or should I say - I would have been homeless if I wasn't living with Danielle and Richard. I have slept on the floor for three nights and actually done very little. I had so much planned this setback threw me completely.

Danielle and I popped down to IKEA to stand in a very, very long queue Saturday afternoon. She needs things for the house to fill the space with things I am taking. It wasn't a nice retail experience being in the one place that half of Milton Keynes chose to visit at the same time. I have ordered my sofa - not from IKEA, and a dining room table - again not from IKEA. This was done painlessly online. In time I'll need odds and bods to make the place comfortable but for now, IKEA will be given a very wide berth.

Today my car is still packed and ready to go. My stuff is out of the cupboards and liberally spread around the house and I am twiddling my thumbs awaiting a call to say that the money has landed in my solicitor's bank account. None of this is good for my well-being but for the moment I am telling myself that this is something I have no control over. 

Something I have done is get a letter published in The Guardian Newspaper today. I read Matthew Rycroft's totally unrealistic perspective of the smooth running of the Home Office - an organisation he is in charge of and so should have been more aware of his and their shortcommings. I was not the only one driven to fury by his words. There are lots of letters refuting the ability of the home Office to do anything but create mayhem and misery.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/may/16/why-the-home-office-is-still-not-fit-for-purpose?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Despite the miserable weather there has been some monents of cheer. Nasser has permission to work. He was granted this on 28th April but the Home Office didn't get round to informing him of this. It took a bit of nagging the local MP - a Con - to find this out. Thank you Mr Ben Everitt.

Already there are job offers on the table so for the family, life is definitely looking rosy. Things have moved a long way in one COVID year. I have a home - almost, and Nasser has a job - almost. 

So Marms, wish me luck - I might be sleeping in a bed tonight! 

Wish you were here.

Love

XXX

Marmageddon

 Dear Marmite

There are some things that have not faired well through the pandemic. Marmite is one of them. Marmite fans have called this crisis Marmageddon. Can you imagine my life without Marmite? - both you and the spread. Sammi named you because you are the same colour as the spread and you really have been a dog that draws polar reactions just like your namesake. I have always loved Marmite - I had it on soldiers when I was little. I gave it to my children. I even travelled with it in my suitcase. I have always loved you and still do.

At least the news explains  why Tesco shelves are devoid of the stuff. Apparently, less beer is being brewed through these COVID times so there is less magical gunge from the beer brewing  to make the Marmite. Devastating, to say the least! My plead is for Brits to drink more beer.

My bike is now in the repair shop for a service. It is its birthday today. Three years ago I literally hopped into Bukit Merah Treknolgy shop on crutches to try out some bikes. I said I wanted one with "go-faster" stripes.  Since that happy day, May 11th, 2018 I have cycled well over 3000 miles, fallen off a few times, got knocked off once and cycled through every weather imaginable; so it does deserve a bit of TLC from a professional. 

My bike is with Cycle Saviours which is a community endeavour. The Trek shop guys in Cuscaden Road were marvelous  - they remembered me because they said no one had ever bought a bike when they couldn't walk without crutches. They willingly sorted out little teething glitches but now I am too far away to just pop in. Cycle Saviours in MK was recommended to me and I like the idea that it is supporting people in the community and promoting cycling in the area. 

Probably my knees could do with a bit of TLC after cycling all that way. If only I could get a service and replacement parts for them too. I am sorting out my belongings in readiness for the BIG move on Friday. This means I trudge up and down stairs what seems like fifty times a day pulling stuff out of cupboards that first got bunged in when my container arrived. All this moving house takes a toll on the old joints too. It is surprising how much of the stuff I thought would be essential from Singapore hasn't seen the light of day for 15 months. 

I went to another fairly exclusive music gig last Sunday. Potentially a wonderful evening dampened by a cloudburst. The music had not been going for more than ten minutes when the heavens opened. Picnickers gave up trying to be jovial while quaffing in the rain and ran for cover. I truly believe that only the British would endure al fresco eating under such conditions. There is a skill to balancing a plate and a glass in one hand while holding an umbrella to stop the wine being diluted in the other and managing to eat as well. It was the sort of weather that you flatly refuse to go out in, Marms. 

So beyond Marmageddon, some things are looking up - my bike will be super duper fast once more, I will soon be in MY home and hopefully there will be a British summer to enjoy as well. 

If only you could visit me and share my little joys.

Love you

XXX

What we can learn from others

 Dear Marmite

There is always something we can learn from others. When you lived with me, Shadow- that infuriating pest -  nipped at your ankles to get you moving when a walk was on offer. Remember? Even now as a ten-year-old dog, she shows an innate sense of when a walk is afoot. Her evening meal is scheduled for 5:30 and she knows exactly when that time is. You were always rather "hasta manana". Things happened for you in your own good time; but there is one area you could help Shadow with - that is swimming. 

Danielle, baby and dog set off for a walk round a local reservoir. When we hopped over the stepping stones at a narrow point, Shadow refused to follow. I told Danielle to walk on so that Shadow would follow. She didn't. She panicked. She ran round to the next set of stones and instead of using them to walk across the water she decided to take her chance and balance on the edge of the weir. She doesn't like water.

All this panicking had a disastrous result. She didn't want to be too far away from us so she took to walking of the edge of the weir. Shadow slipped in on the deep side, then nearly fell over the edge with the drop. She scrambled up and wobbled atop the slipperly edge for a monent and threw herself at the bank, missing spectacularly. Danielle with nipper attached to her front, hauled Shad out onto the side. We laughed. Shadow didn't. She sulked. Danielle took her back to the same spot a couple of days later. She wouldn't go near the water - odd dog!

I too am learning - this time from Richard and Danielle. Danielle is with an NHS group called More Life. She has weekly zooms to talk about healthy eating. Danielle had gestational diabetes so this is how she got hooked up with the group. Richard - a trained chef - has taken this all very seriously and now I am part of the household diet. I am a couple of kg down and Danielle is 8kg lighter for her efforts. Richard weighs everything and counts the calories. I think his talent could very easily be marketed. We have tasty meals and I am very conscious of what I am eating. Good lad!

There are also people I have come across who can learn from others. I am offering advice to forty-something men who flap and flounder in the fast lane at the local pool. One in particular clearly has issues with his masculinity; the idea of chivalry is beyond his comprehension. He does everything to stop an old dear like me overtaking and getting on with my swim. Luckily he is the exception. I have met some really lovely people who swim at the same time as me. The pool has a happy atmosphere and most people smile and say hello. 

So that is life out of lockdown, Marmite, dogs swimming, me getting healthy - mostly... and the sun shining more often. I have even booked a haircut! Let's hope the result of the local elections show people have learnt from recent government bloopers.

Love you

XXX

A week of treats

 Dear Marmite

I have almost had a social life this week. I have felt almost busy. Monday was coffee with a friend.  I  then went over to Stevenage on Tuesday to meet up with three friends with very short names.  It was the anniversary of Mike's death and so we visited the place where his ashes are. Ann had an oak tree planted to mark the spot plus a little stone which will eventually nestle in the roots of the growing tree. I really like the idea that a tree becomes a lasting memory of someone's life. 

Our trip to the Crem was followed by an al fresco lunch - all eating is outside here in the UK. There was no mention of holly bushes though until I returned home. The memory of a particular holly bush in Ann's garden has haunted me for many years since I once fell into it. Should my memory fade of the incident, I have no doubt that these friends will refresh it.

Later in the week I did a pub quiz in a marquee in arctic conditions. The pub is opposite the house I am buying so I thought it might be fun to see what was on offer. It was so cold that my fingers couldn't grip the pen properly and I swear the ink stopped flowing freely. I get a shiver running through me each time I think of it... mad dogs and Englishmen in extreme climates! Marms, your fur would have just about kept you warm, I reckon.

Friday, I popped down towards Rachel's place in Wiltshire and we met in a convenient pub half way between our two homes. Again we sat under a tent but this one sensibly had heaters and was well set up for COVID conditions. It was a very pleasant meal indeed, not to mention the company.

So those were the good bits. My nadir was a visit to my NHS physio on Monday. The previous appointment was 5 weeks before and back then he had looked at me from a distance, decided I had sciatica and gave me 40 minutes worth of exercises to do each day. These exercises actually made me worse rather than better. At one point I got a muscle spasm in the good side of my back. It was so bad I couldn't do any exercise at all.

The outcome of the second appointment wasn't much better. I was told off for doing the exercises I had originally been given. Apparently the illustrations were of people who could do the exercises so I should have known to adapt them - according to Mr Dickhead. By implication I am a person who cannot do exercises properly.

I am now seeing a very sensible, intelligent sports therapist who has given me exercises I feel will benefit me. All this and swimming will turn me into super-woman I hope. Watch out, I'll be popping over to Singapore and dragging you through jungle again one day.

While all this gadding about has filled my time, I have also found time to pay the deposit for my new place. There have been delays which my solicitor has blamed on the seller's solicitor and having finally got the estate agents to arrange a time so that I could measure up the new place, I got speaking to the seller, Sue. I found out that her solicitors are blaming mine for the delay. I just want to move. I am in the same boat as most people. I don't want to be messed around by incompetent people. I am not a patient person - you know that, Marms.

I have also bought a new sofa which will be delivered in three months' time. I hope that I will be in my new place by then. At least the sofa cost considerably less than Boris'. I did consider John Lewis' but apparently buying from there would put me in the same taste bracket as Theresa May. I certainly couldn't cope with that stigma. 

At least I intend to be in my home longer than Boris will be in number 10. All in all, my sofa will be better value all round. I will even be buying my own curtains. Again, unlike Boris who earns £150,000 from his day job and needs his friends to buy them for him. 

With that, I'll say ta ta..

Love you as always

XXX