Being Irked

Dear Marmite

Steam is coming out of my ears. I have just come off the phone after speaking to yet another worker at Tesco Bank. All I want is a credit card. I don't really want it but I do need it. Having been out of the country for the length of time I have, there is no data on me. No data means I am a credit risk.

Within a week of arriving I sussed the situation out and applied for a Tesco card as that seemed to be the most recognisable option. The letter arrived and asked for proof of me living at my address. These days banks don't send out statements so I can't send a statement to prove I live here.

The broadband service also comes via email and does not include my address. That is another option thwarted. Lucky, thought me, I will send the Council Tax bill that does have my name on and it is on the list of options so I sent it off. Surprise, surprise - the council tax bill only says I am an A Woolhead and does not have my full name so that has been rejected. I have attempted to offer three bits of evidence and none of them are good enough.

It is hard to stay calm when faced with such idiocy. What are the chances of having two A Woolheads in the same house who are not related. What are the chances of two Woolheads in the same town? If I were a Jones that might be a different matter .This bureaucracy irks...Errrrrgh...

I might have felt a bit more mild mannered if there weren't other equally idiotic things filling my waking moments. I am still awaiting BC to tell me what support they are offering me after my fall at work in October! Frequently a minion we shall call J emails me and asks the same / similar questions about the treatment I will receive in Singapore. I don't live in Singapore. I have emailed him and said that I feel fortunate that my problems are not terminal. My life is not running out but my patience is. I cannot believe how many man hours have been eaten up not getting anywhere at all. OMG. How much time can one office worker waste? Please someone research this -  it will be an eye opener. Meanwhile I am paying for my own physio!

As you know, Marmite, my new kitchen is being fitted and that is not going smoothly either. Despite planning it at B&Q and foolishly believing if the stuff is on the drawings, then it will be in the packaging, I have been let down big time. I tried phoning the store I bought the stuff from.. no answer. I called the national number which helpfully told me repreatedly to check out their website. When I did speak to a Scottish human being he tried to put me through to B&Q MK and left me on the phone but not connected for 15 mnutes before I gave up. Now I need to go down to said store and deal with this and other minor hiccups F2F tomorrow.

One last moan. The double glazing people promised to take away the scaffolding 3-5 days after the windows were put in. I spent twenty minutes on hold awaiting to tell them it is still up two weeks later and my plumbers will happily take charge of it.
All this hanging on the line for poorly manned call centres is ridiculous. Once you do get through, the people working in them have no power or (I suspect) any inclination to do anything in the least bit supportive for the caller. I am sure there are frequent ads asking for workers in this line - essential skills - must be a proven dickhead.

On the up side. There was snow this morning and my young childish heart got very excited. Yay, the beauty of nature. I rushed out of doors to cover my newly planted rhubarb and fixed the bird feeder on the fence at the end of the garden. The joy was not to last, by lunch time it had all melted and now the temperature is in double figures.

At least I had heating last night. Too much in fact. Today is the DAY.. my heating will finally be sorted and I can change the temperature just through using my phone. Bliss me thinks!

Visible carpet- proof my kitchen bits are being moved to the right place

With the heating just right, I imagine you quite settled in my little place. The carpets are fitted so you won't be able to snuggle under a rug here, though.

Missing you Marms

Love

XXX

Rhubarb is on the menu!

Dear Marmite

Bilal, the plumber... but where are the others 

I am sitting in a living room still full of kitchen stuff. The temperature outside is 1c. I know this for two reasons; my telephone advertises this and I am without heating once again so my house is freezy cold beyond your imagination. My fingers are like lumps of ice.

I haven't haven't had a hot meal in days. I am deep need of a sympathetic ear at the very least. However, I have found a way to have fresh coffee. So as you can see all is not lost. The kitchen is a tichy one and I thought that it wouldn't take much time to sort out the removal of the old kitchen which is currently on my front "lawn". I was wrong.

There was a problem with the original plumbing and the plumber couldn't turn the water off at the mains outside. I called Anglian Water who came out in next to no time and we discovered that bill for number 65 - my place - had been paid for by number 67 for the past 18 years. The muddle is bigger than just these two properties. There are 5 involved in the muddle. What a big whoopsie!!

In the kitchen we are now back on track and today I have started to think about how the bathrooms will be done. These too have suffered. The downstairs toilet leaks, the top floor is a disaster zone and has been the source of water pouring through my ceiling yet again.... I need another repair job to the ceiling in the same place as before. This time due to another problem upstairs. I always wanted a place with my own swimming pool. I didn't actually want one in the living room though.

I have got rhubarb planted in my garden so things are looking up on the garden front. I have volunteered at the Community Orchard. This is a Transition MK project. I chose it because my son works for Transition so in a way I feel I am supporting him. Yesterday I dug a vegetable [ patch and repaired a trellis then took some rhubarb to replant in my own little patch.

Rhubard, shard, onion, strawberry and carrot. One of each

This has made me quite excited as I used to take bits from the herb garden at work to grow on my balcony and then add other bits that I had cultivated at home to the garden. This feels the same so I am going to shop for some unusual stuff that I can share with the community garden.. Let's hope my green fingers extend to northern climes. You could put a stick in the soil in Singapore and it would grow - I am not so sure it is as easy here.

So to summarise.. rhubarb is the current joy in my life. No kitchen, one working bathroom and no heating.. Things can only get better.

Still missing you and thinking about you all the time.

Love you, Marmite my old mate..

Hugs

XXX

A bit of a Squeeze this weekend

Dear Marmite

My current place of abode is so much smaller than the one we shared in Dairy Farm. It is feels even smaller as I now have a flatpack kitchen in the living room as well a the kitchen stuff from the container and the living room furniture as well. I couldn't swing a cat, leave alone a dog. Especially one your size.

Added to the cosiness of the downstairs is my treasured bike. It should live in the garage but as the previous tenants smashed the garage door, it doesn't work properly and it takes two people to open it. So, not wanting to leave it in a garden with blown down fences, I have it in the teeny hallway.

At least I have no excuse to get on my bike and ride! This is what I did yesterday. I took it to Treknology in town to get it checked over. Remembering I live in a city, I didn't go on one road the whole way to the centre. At one point I went through Bradwell village with its old stone houses - these are probably a couple of hundred years old. I was enthralled by being in the middle of the countryside yet also in a city.

In fact I was so enthralled with my surroundings I got lost a number of times and on the way home passed through Loughton Valley Park and past a Roman Villa twice. I  ended up going the wrong way along the canal and then went over a bridge and noticed a narrow boat going in the opposite direction on a parallel viaduct.

The biggest problem with cycling down country lanes is that there are no noticable landmarks and few sign posts. I cycled a long way in pretty strong winds giving me a really good workout and not one bead of sweat. I loved it!

I have also tried out the swimming pool I can see from my bedroom window. It is pretty good albeit a bit crowded.  I had to share a lane with four other people. In my mind I was hoping for the tranquility of Dairy Farm. I even got charged full price despite being offically an oldie! What a cheek.

On Monday the kitchen gets fitted! Hopefully the company who put the new windows in will take down the scaffold. Meanwhile I will continue to dig the garden to prepare my vegetable patch. My number one priority is rhubarb. I can imagine eating it already.

So as you can see, Marms, things are moving in the right direction. Even the daily temperature is rising. I know January was the hottest on record. It didn't feel warm to me and perhaps this is why there are so many climate crisis deniers. I even hope for my heating to be fixed this week.. luxury.

Love You

XXX

A truly warm night

Dear Marmite

The house is getting cosy at last. Yesterday some really efficient double glazing men ripped out the old windows and fitted smart new clean ones!! Despite the central heating via radiators not being totally sorted, the house was warm and I actually slept through the whole night and woke up around 6.

Previously, and especially before my bedding arrived I actually got dressed for bed by adding layers. This is not quite as bad as when I fixed up Boswell Gardens and had to live without any radiators at all in November. Back then I wore a ski jacket, hat and two pairs of socks to bed.

Today these efficeint men  - Kev and Mark -  are here again to sort out the French windows and front door. My job is to supply coffee. When they depart the place won't be ready really. The list of other things that need to be done to make the place truly comfy is endless but I will chip away at it one task at a time.

Added to a slightly warmer house, now the storm has past, my phone says it is 5 degrees warmer than yesterday. Yesterday had blasts of sleet and driving winds and a few glimpses of the sun so I am not about to shed my winter woolies just yet but at least the gauge is moving in the right direction.

All to be sorted.. the kitchen is spread around the 

Living room still
I seem to find myself at B&Q more often than I would like to be. There are always a few screws and odds and sods that I need to get to keep things moving along. I bought new fence posts as the fence blew down in the first storm along the fences across almost the entire neighbourhood. A very nice man came round to fix it last Sunday but as the garage door is broken AGAIN! the posts are safely stored inside the garage and I can't break in. Even my beloved bike is beyond my reach... This is the very worst part of this.

So as you see Marms, I am getting there but there are obstacles in my way. On another note, the neighbourhood dogs seem friendly and quite well behaved. Behind my house is a recreation area. The dogs play there. Just think, in another time dimension you could have been there, lying down watching them exercise. I know you would have loved that.

Still missing you loads..

Love

XXX

Moving forward, a little at a time

Dear Marmite

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activity here while a hurricane has been blowing outside. In fact the wind has blown so hard that the fence got knocked down so that is one more job to be sorted! Last night it rained so heavily it woke me up. I know what you would have done. You would have curled up in the shower to get away from any potential danger. I thought of you when the rain beat heavily on the windows.

Next Monday I am getting new windows and hopefully the kitchen will be sorted next week as well. Danielle and Richard brought some odds and ends from Stevenage and already the place is looking a bit more homely. I even have my tennis racquets and some clothes thanks to Mark who couriered them over from Singapore and mt me at Newport Pagnall Services. So in some ways things are getting better every day.

After a lovely day playing canasta and losing badly; having a pub meal in my local - a great little place right on the Grand Union Canal; I feel I have had a day off sorting duties. I even had my supper on a proper plate along with a glass of wine in a proper glass last night. Danielle bought me two plates and mugs as a welcome gift - God bless her. I sat on my sofa=cum-orange-suitcase and felt quite at home.

After the big disappointment of my container not being delivered last Monday, I expect it tomorrow now. That means I will have cupboards to put my stuff into and things to hang on the walls. Today I have three deliveries and my plans to dig over the garden are on hold as it is far too wet.

When the container does arrive and I am sorted I'll be exploring MK on my bike. It is a bike friendly city so barring me riding into stationary posts like my friend did the other day, I should not have to worry. November 2018. I was knocked off my bike on Upper Bukit Timah by a man in a van who hit me with his wing mirror. My experience of driving around has been a pleasant surprise. Everyone gives way to each other. This is a nice part of the culture.

The biggest surprise of the lot so far is getting an apology from Michael at Eon. Mr PC Plod is not expected to visit me now and my account will get sorted out. I have also applied for a Tesco credit card so that I can build up a credit history. The money side of things is turning out to be a bit of a problem. I expect it is the same for everybody who returns home after living abroad.

So today is a sorting-bits-out day...and today I get internet fingers crossed.

Hey ho.. off I go. Love you Marms

Hugs and kisses

Mr Flatpack has come into my life

Dear Marmite, pets, luvs and darlings

All it took was a trip to IKEA, loading the car with a double bed and getting it upstairs once I got home. I ripped the cardboard jacket off and there he was lying on my bedroom floor ready to be assembled. It took me well over an hour of sheer fun to turn the bits into a whole. I now have two beds. One is a mattress for the frame in my container and the frame is for a mattress I have ordered. Both a different sizes so in some ways it is a bit premature to get excited but for me, this is headway.

I did this

whoops, these bits got left over!

To Louai and Moe, I know I have moved on from Mr Flatpack to Mr Six-pack after our outing in KL I hope you remember the T-shirt? I certainly told Marmite all about it. The trouble is he is not available from IKEA, Milton Keynes, more's the pity.

All the radiators have now had a lick of paint on them and this morning I did the dormer window on the top floor bathroom. It looks good, even if I say so myself. The rest of the bathroom is still rather iffy. I have a sink that won't drain, a radiator with a wire dangling and a broken light fitting to sort. Nothing a bomb wouldn't rectify.

Mr Splodge, the "professional" painter, has left his mark is all sorts of unusual ways. At first I was really just annoyed but now I am having to do the stuff I paid him to do, I am definitely irked. I have started taking pictures of the  finer examples of his handywork. Only this morning, after getting out of the shower, did I scrape off the paint he had daubed on the mirror. All before getting dressed.

It has brought to mind how often we talked in Singapore about how much better workmanship is back in the UK. From my recent experience, I actually think the Singaporean handymen are a few rungs up the ladder compared to here. I have included evidence so you can judge for yourself.

Skirting board with nipples

primitive daub on lightbulb 

It was nice seeing pictures of you, Marms. You are certainly looking happy and content. Long may it last!

Off to paint...

Love you,

XXX

Don't call me "darling"

Dear Marmite

I have hit the wall of culture shock. Now that I actually have wheels and very nice ones they are too, I can get around and sort things out for the house to make it a little more liveable. Yesterday, I achieved miracles!

So far I have curtains, a mattress ( that was the day-of-the-disaster-mattress), a bed base, a shower curtain and paint. I have started the long task of repairing Mr. Spoldge's damage blob by blob. Apart from thinking things are cheap in Sing dollars and then realising they are in pounds and NOT cheap, there is one thing that is irking me more than you can imagine.

Don't call me Darling! I go into a shop, need assistance and every sentence is punctuated with "of course, darling", "we have them in aise 5, darling"... I am not their darling. I do not know them from Adam and I don't like the irritating habit of being addressed as such. When did people start calling perfect strangers, "darling"?

I personally reserve that moniker to special people in my life like you, Marms. I am tempted to reply. "I am not YOUR darling." I'm not. How could I be? I think a T-shirt would suffice - the words blazoned on my chest might send a clear and unambiguous message to all who work in the local Tesco store for starters.

That's it. I have got that off my chest and as always, I know what a good listener you have been.  So my darling dog, hugs over the airwaves. Until I see you again to have real propper chat, thank you for lending me your ear long-distance!

Love

XXX

It never rains but it pours!

Dear Marmite

I woke up yesterday morning full of the joys of spring. The sun was shining and the birds were in full song. Life was looking up. I was particularly excited as Danielle was coming over later in the day for a sleepover - My first guest! I even had a Hong Bao ready (brown manila envelope so use your imagination here).

Despite the glorious sun it is decidely nippy still - about 8c so heating is a must. I padded around my place and had  moment of sheer inspiration. Danielle could not do as I had been doing and sleep on the carpet. I set off for IKEA with the express intention of buying a mattress topper, then getting her to pick me up on the way over from Stevenage and at least she would have a comfortable night.

I got to IKEA by bus so I had a scenic trip round Milton Keynes and its environs on the way. I was in no hurry so no problems so far. The store was crowded. I think that at least half the population of the city were fighting their way round the store. It was horrible - as bad as Singapore IKEA  -no worse - I didn't know my way around.

The man dealing with beds advised me to get a mattress and not a topper. He showed me how small these roll up. He convinced me that I could fit it in the little car that was to pick me up shortly. I couldn't just buy a mattress, I needed curtains, sheets and pillows. My basket was filling up even with restraint.

Anyway, time rolled on and Danielle didn't turn up. Her car had died somewhere near the M1 and she later found out that the head gasket had blown. The car  had died unceremoniously somewhere on her way to meet me. At this time my emotions ran between worry for her and annoyance that I was stuck. The former emotion took precedence. How could I be annoyed when my poor daughter was in the middle of nowhere.

So I was stuck at IKEA. I could have hired a van but the Toyota garage where I am buying my car has my driving licence evidence. That was not an option. I phoned for a taxi - they said there was a four hour wait. I had a brainwave. My plumber might know someone I could pay to deliver me and goods to home.

Multi-functional yellow bag that has travelled far and wide.

My plumber is a star. He got his friend to bring me home with my mattress and sundry goodies. So after five hours at IKEA - is this a record? I was met by a complete stranger who turned out to be my knight in shining armour. After struggling to squeeze the mattress into a much larger car than Danielle's, I was heading homeward. I could even laugh at that time, fighting with a roll of mattress that poseesed a life of its own, trying to find the best way to angle it into the back seat of a car was a bit comedic, I have to say.

I got through the front door to the tune of something I thought was rats. What could be worse? Well, in the living room there was a cascade of water pouring through the electric light. This is where my knight in shining armour came to the rescue. He turned all the water off, identified the leak and at least now I just have a pond in my living room and not a man-made water feature.

Pond feature on new carpet

abstract ceiling decor

Meanwhile, a near neighbour couldn't get their car parked because we were blocking the drive so I got to know someone through my adversity. That was a little positive. Now after a night with no heating and no water I await rescue. I popped next door at 7:30 this morning and asked for my kettle to be filled up and a rather perplexed teenage lad duly obliged - no questions asked!

Today, I am also hoping to hear from Mr Splodge, the decorator of limited talent. Among his skills demonstrated in doing my home before I got back, was the ability to paint lightbulbs, miss half the woodwork, daub radiators with the wrong paint, and splatter mirrors- a talent indeed. I can't wait to meet him.

I thought the tough part might be travelling. My biggest challenge really is this little house that I want to make my home for the short term. I know water features are very feng shui but I have in mind far easy ways to bring prosperity to my doorstep.

It literally poured. Marmite you would have had your bemused look. I can imagine it.

Not sure you would like the current situation. You are much better off where you are!

Miss you regardless.

Love

XXX