Conspiracy Theories

 Dear Marmite

The weather here is awful. That is an understatement. I have just come back from a walk with Shadow and we are both rather damp. Storm Alex has been beating down on us for three days now. The rain is wet. It wavers between the sort of rain that leaves ripples in puddles to the stuff that hangs in the air like mist. All in all, whatever you find yourself in, it is not nice.

It does have a plus side though and perhaps the powers that be have sent "things" up into the clouds to make the weather this bad on purpose. The streets are empty and there is not a cat in hells chance of me picking up a virus as I am the only one silly enough to venture out. This rain is a circuit breaker. The only way I can show you it is raining this badly is to take a picture of rain on a cabbage leaf.

In addition to this, the news is buzzing about an obese, aged president testing positive for a virus that he doesn't believe in. Some theories suggest he has done this for sympathy ahead of the vote. Twitter has said it will clamp down on tweets that wish  Trump ill - what happened to a free press? Meanwhile, whatever the facts, I am hoping for the best possible outcome; as I know many of my friends are too.

While we are talking about the media, I have become irked and annoyed about the frequency of ads that tell me to sign up to the NHS test and trace app. I am not given to cynicism but I have not signed up to this because I don't trust the government, especially Desperate Dido Harding. I can almost understand why some people don't wear their masks properly. I just have a problem when people's noses poke out unprotected.

I haven't been told what data will be shared in any of the ads for starters.  Ads that come to me with the intensity of a MacDonalds ad have a negative affect on me. In contrast, I know I would have happily participated in anything that Singapore set up. I can't help thinking how much we over here could learn from them. 

ITV are showing their latest series - The Singapore Grip. I watch it because it is Singapore but I am disappointed they can't get the monkeys right. Long-tail macaques look nothing like the imposters they are using on the set. I know full well you, Marmite, could spot the right sort of monkey - you have had lots of experience on that front, even inside our house. There are other irritants in the story that show poor research. I could go on at length - you know me Marms, I won't. 

There are positives - Billie Bump is growing and on my walk today I saw three magpies. This I reckon is pretty significant. Danielle meanwhile has lost all sense of good taste and has bought a carved candle from a charity shop. This pink, twelve-inch monstrosity holds pride of place on the mantelpiece so I can't ignore it. Once she had told me her father said it looked like a dragon's penis I can't get that image out of my mind. I hope with time, she will set light to it so it melts into Woolhead folklore. Perhaps Freud might have something to explain why anyone should feel the need to buy a candle such as this. 

I had a hit last week. It felt good. That is a high note for this week, at least. 

Still miss you, my dear, old man...

Love

XXX