A Brush with the NHS

 Dear Marmite

Ezra-Mae on the beer

It has been quite a week. It all started with a brush with a wasp. This wasn't even a sting. Nasty Mr Wasp flew past my hand very closely just as I was getting into the car to drive to Gatwick and pick your friends -Diane and Jeremy - up. After last year's incident with another nasty, I was a wee bit worried about my body's reaction.

The hand reacted quicky, it became swollen, sore, itched and burned. I went to a pharmacy the following day for stuff to make it better. No, they said. Go to your doctor. I tried, but as you may not know, Marms, over here seeing a doctor is not easy. Before you see any doctor you have to fill in the Klinik web chat as accurately as you can to help with diagnosis. Sometimes the multiple choice options leave me hanging - they don't cover what I think is wrong with me.  Much later I got a message saying I would get a call. I got a call much later still. The "doctor" wrote a prescription which no pharmacy could fill.  Argh.... 

My hand

I sent another message over the web chat and by Saturday I still had a swollen hand and no medication so I called 111. I got mixed messages from two different respondents. Number 1  - go to hospital immediately. Number 2  - a doctor will call you. I had two phone calls much later but couldn't get to either of them as they rang off after 3 rings. To be honest, I am so lucky this has not been life threatening. 

So one week later - almost - I get to speak to a real doctor over the phone who decides I need two new epi pens ready for the next sting. Surprise, surprise - I tried 2 pharmacies yesterday afternoon and neither have epi pens so I am back to square 1. What a palava!! 

The NHS did much better cutting a lump out of my neck last Monday. It was about 2.5cm cubed which seemed rather large to me. As they say, better out than in. Now I have a  few stitches along my collarbone which I have to self manage. The downside - no swimmimg for two weeks and I am so close to completing my 58 miles. I have managed a couple of games of tennis though.

A big plus is having company to stay. It keeps me busy and as I live in a nice part of the world I enjoy sharing it. The Cosgrove Canal Boat Festival happened last weekend. The Canal was a riot of colour and the tow path was buzzing. There were loads of quality crafts on offer too. I now have a hiking pole with a compass on the top end. This, Marms will be a plus for anyone walking with me as you well know. No need to do any of my famous detours ever again!

On Sunday afternoon I met Richard and Ezra-Mae and we sat at the Beer Boat and had a couple of rather nice beers. Mine was called Hazy Daze, I seem to recall. Nothing better than sitting out by the water on a glorious summer day - apart from Ezra-Mae flinging her snack bag high into the air and it landing in the narrow gap between the boat and the bank. That girl has got a really good thrown on her!

And so Marm, another day begins - what joys do I have to look forward to in this sunny land, I wonder?

Love you as always

XXX

A Fridge too Far

 Dear Marmite

It was lovely to see pictures of you reunited with your old friends Diane, Jeremy and Vanessa at Rail Mall the other day. I only wish I could have been there too. Despite your dotage, it is good to know you still remember everyone and the area too. You truly are an amazing old man!

Tomorrow I will be seeing Diane and Jeremy myself. I am quite excited too. At least they will not need to acclimatise to the weather over here. In my area of Britain we is expecting unprecedented temperatures of 40c today and there is a severe heat warning across the country. It is 7am and I sit here in my livingroom quite close to my new and very much needed fridge-freezer. It has been quite a saga getting it and now it is nearly in situ I can breathe a sigh of relief that is here ready for the heatwave.

I know it is not yet in the kitchen area as I now need my handyman to come and remove the cupboard area of the old integrated one. The old one had multiple issues and it was time to move on and stop swearing at it. The freezer froze everything far too much and caused a snow flurry each time I pulled anything out of it. The fridge section was not much better. Every few days I had to mop a pool of water from under the veggie drawers. It really had had it.

So with that in mind I popped down to Currys to buy a new one just a few weeks ago. I was promised it would be delivered that week as it was in stock. It wasn't. It came last Friday and as with the sofa, the men refused to carry it up the stairs. I had measured the stairs and was sure it would fit. So to make it lighter for me to carry it up, I took all the shelves and drawers out and took the doors off too. While I did this I muttered under my breathe cursing the house I had chosen. Errrr. Nasser, Colin - my nextdoor neightbour and myself edged it up the stairs and I reassembled it that evening. No problem. I reckon I could do this as a job!! All I need are my kinights in shining armour as my muscle.

I also had my two grandsons for an eventful few days last week. Individually they are darlings but collectively they wind each other up. I did manage to wear them out so they had a film in the evening but I have to say there is not enough room in this letter to tell you half of what happened. There is a broken sunflower in my garden that to me is an appropriate metaphor for the experience. Suffice to say that they left half their stuff yet again. C'est la vie.

Today I am off for a swim - sensible I reckon in this heat. I will be cycling there. I did 40km in 40c around Angkor Wat a few years back so I am not too worried about a couple of miles to the pool and back. I am a little more worried about popping into MK hospital to have a cyst removed from my neck today. The actual cutting doesn't bother me. It is the after effects I worry about. So Marms, wish me luck!!

Love You

XXX

A thorn in my side

 Dear Marmite

Summer is in full swing and everyone seems to smile more over here. It is lovely to be in the UK at this time of the year. My flowers are surviving the drought and my garden looks quite pretty. So why do I have a need to complain?

Life is never smooth. That is how it was when I set off for a spin on my bike and YET again I end up with a flat tyre. This is a bit of a groundhog day moment. It happens for too often. Of course, it all needed sorting and so with my bike in bits in my garden I found a very small thorn sticking through the tyre. I fiddled with it for some time before I thought. F**k it - I am going to get a new tyre! And, that is what I did. Some ££££ later and about 2 minutes fixing the bike shop had kitted my wheel with a pretty solid looking tyre. So it remains for me to try it out now.  Errrr.

I have also bought a new fridge-freezer. Currys is relentless in the amount of emails it sends to me asking how I like it and what I could also buy to make my kitchen experience even better. I also get emails about the payment plan for the fridge. This has probably delayed my writing to you!! The only trouble is that I don't have the damn thing. It hasn't been delivered. Temperatures are going up to 30c so that fridge had better be here soon. Errrrr.

There is one thing happening now that is even more exciting than Wimbledon. That is the Boris Shitshow and Omnishambles all rolled into one. If it was a movie you couldn't make it up. Chris Pincher - or more aptly named - Chris Groper was the final straw. Now the cabinet are admitting to lying for Boris and have resigned. Why did they lie to start with? Has no one in the cabinet got a shred of integrity? Surely it isn't just Boris that is rotten to the core? Errrrrr....

So in the national media people are being dragged out to talk about the Boris legacy. Loads of bollocks and drivel floating over the airwaves. From my perspective on this is his world beating death rate from COVID and a BREXIT that still isn't sorted. I don't think history will be kind to him. Apparently when he leaves number 10 he will be homeless - how sad!

Watching Wimbledon live has been a great waste of my time and I've loved every minute. I am mostly wrecked after two hours of tennis so I know how much playing tennis at that level must hurt! I would like to see Jabeur and Kyrgios as champions with only one small addendum - I hope against hope that Kyrgios has been wrongly accused of being abusive to his girlfriend.  I don't want to support a mysognist though I do tend to go for the off beat players. I loved Nastase back in the day!

And so Marms, I have to admit to having enjoyed having Shadow around for a couple of days. Shad the Bad moved her bed so she could see me in bed. She also refused to walk over a lock so I went on another route with her. Apart from those things she was quite a little darling. A lady walking her own dog recognised her and asking if the dog is walking was Shadow.  She is famous in these parts!! 

You Marms will always be my number one though. 

Love you.

XXX

Road kill and other murderous thoughts

 Dear Marmite

A nice picture of a blanket I am making. I didn't want to push the road kill point too much

Last night at the quiz we were asked a question about road kill in the UK. I know this might be a squeamish topic for you but it is part and parcel of living in the UK. Anyway, here's the question: What mammal is most frequently killed on British roads? Well, I thought it had to be rabbits. Around my way there are always hundreds of them running back and forth across the road to my village. For sheer numbers there have to be more rabbits around to be killed. 

Also from my cycling, I see lots of unfortunates with their guts spread across the road. I really thought my logic would win the point. I was wrong. Badgers are the most common form of road kill. There is even a badger tunnel under the road to my village. Even this didn't make me feel they were the most common victims. Then, on my journey home from The Cowpers Oak quiz, there was a dead badger and a bit later two dead rabbits on the road. What are the chances? eh?

The other day I nearly fell off my bike when a squirrel ran between my wheels and then ran across my path. I wobbled. The squirrel got out of the way and disappeared into the hedgerow. I muttered rude words at it - after all, squirrels are only rats with PR. Cute as they are, they are annoying and vermin. Why I tried to avoid it and endanger myself, I'll never fathom. 

I even stopped along the canal towpath to have a conversation about a very bold fox that was standing there and totally unconcerned about the humans and dogs around it. It was at home and happy to be seen. It looked quite gorgeous and very much alive! Only momentarily did we consider foxes to be the answer. 

That wasn't the only question that set us on the road to failure. We thought Super Mario's first job was a plumber. We wiped out on that round and lost a potential 20 points because of that. Final score - we lost the quiz and £30 by half a point! How annoying is that? 

Despite our booboos in the quiz, I left smiling because I had yet another fun even with friends who make me laugh. They are also remarkable quizzers and only ocassionally do I come up with something original and unknown to the others. They are especially nice as they let me play with them. No murderous thoughts on my part there!

However, after a recent fun tournament at my local tennis club where you play with a different partner for each round, I ended up feeling like I had barely survived a round with Mike Tyson. I got to the final and lost. Made it home, collapsed on the sofa and then could hardly move! The other three finalists were at least 30 years younger than me. I bet their bodies didn't feel like mine did last Sunday. 

Being a glutton for punishment, I went to the pool and did 2.5km on the Monday after the tournament. It was a hair of the dog moment -  Kill or cure! 

Now I am at the point of needing a new fridge/freezer. The old one is close to death's door. It doesn't seal properly and the freezer has so much ice in it there is probably 30% of the space taken up. Argh. Marms, decisions, decisions. What should I do? Should I wait til it dies or get rid of it and choose one I really want?

I wish you were here to talk things over with.. I promise I won't discuss road kill too often. It is not a nice subject, is it? However, I took this picture as it reminded me of you - I won't say more!

Love you

xxx

Mid Summer gone already

 Dear Marmite

One thing is for sure, from now on the nights will be drawing in and we are heading for winter now that we have passed Midsummer's Day. That is a really depressing thought but I can't help thinking it now I am back in a country that has four seasons. I thought about cycling down to Midsummer Boulevard to see the sun rise again this year as a way to mark  this day. I also thought about dancing around the rocks in my garden, or at least dancing around the bedroom to welcome the rising sun but in the end I rolled over and went back to sleep and let the world pass me by.

I went to the doctors last week to find out why I had been coughing for over three weeks and suffering from having no voice. The answer - hayfever! That was a result I least expected but it does account for my feeling better and then worse again. The prescribed nasal spray has been a game changer but the cough medicine makes me feel like I am falling off the edge of a cliff about 20 minutes after I take it so I am not taking any more of that. 

Now I know I am not likely to spread germs, I am back swimming again. Oh the joy! I spend an hour ploughing up and down the lengths with no coughs and wheezes. It is a little haven where I don't sound like I have been smoking 40 a day for the last 40 years!

One of the big joys of retiring is going off on jaunts. That is what I did last week. Destination - Ely. This was a place I had never been to before and immediately I felt an affection for the place. I picked up Margy in Cambridge on the way and we met Peter, Karl and his mother, Sandra on the grounds of the cathedral. The sun was shining and all was well with the world. 

Outside 'Peter's' dream home!

The cathedral was founded in 673 but its current structure was started in Norman times and has had bits added onto it over the centuries. The reformation and  then Oliver Cromwell knocked it about a bit but over all it has retained an impressive magnificence. It has been used in TV dramas and films as a substitute for Westmisnster Abbey   - no better recomendation for it than that!

I also learnt that Ely got its name from an Anglo-Saxon word, "Eilig" which means island of eels. So knowing that where else could we eat but an Italian restaurant which served anything but eels. Actually, Marms, I have never eaten eels nor do I have any desire to try them.

Today is yet another sunny day so I am off for a bit of open water swimming. Box End is a bit far to cycle to so this one will be in the car. Meanwhile the railways are at a standstill - strikes. The country is in the grip of a recession and even working people need food banks. We need someone to get a grip and sort out the mess that is the UK. 

As for you, Marms, you live a a country with wonderful weather and everything runs smoothly. We could learn a thing or two from Singapore!

Love you

xxx

Trials and tribulations

 Dear Marmite

Not so different from Monty's!

Mostly my problems are first world problems so I shouldn't complain. In fact, I really don't have much to worry about at all. So, when I found myself running late to visit my friend in hospital, I got a bit niggly with how slowly the cars were exiting Tesco car park in Stevenage. Patience isn't a virtue I possess! 

Normally, and almost without exception drivers over here are polite and beyond the highway code there are unwritten rules about who goes first. Everyone understands them - or so I thought. Normally in a tailback every other car will be ushered to join the line from a side junction. People smile and nod or wave through their windscreens and so it goes. So when I tried to join the exit queue in such circumstances, three cars in the main line edged themselves forward so that there was absolutely no way I could get in. 

The funny thing was the lady wearing caterpillar eyelashes in the car ahead of me was so determined to keep me out, she shunted the car in front of her in her determination to get out of the car park 30 seconds sooner. That prang of course slowed her down, it blocked me and made the man in the car in front of her less than congenial - putting it mildly. I just hope she has learnt a good lesson as karma landed in her lap in bucket loads. YAY!

So with my box of recently purchased Maltesers, I set off a little late for The Lister - The last time I was there was for Sammi's op. It is his birthday today so I can tell exactly how long ago it was. Ann had had a wrestling match with a plant pot on her patio and the pot won. She broke her femur and now has a hip replacement. Nothing about the op went smoothly and she actually had two ops. So popping round for a quick visit with her favourite chocolates was the least I could do.

While I was there we discussed at length more first world problems like how do you bend down to get your knickers on after this sort of op. Apparently one of those grabbers that people use for litter picking is essential equipment. I reckon the "dead ant" technique of lying on the bed with your legs in the air might work. I know I had time to prepare for my knee ops and I thought of things like that before the event. Having an emergency operation doesn't allow for thinking time though. All in all. Ann is doing really well and is planning her escape.

I actually have a bit of a phobia about hospitals. I was lucky to be in a private hospital in Singapore and that is almost like a hotel. In an NHS hospital, the beds around you are full and some patients are not patient. The staff look stretched too. The lady across from Ann's bed wanted help almost constantly while I was there and nights are apparently not conducive to sleep either. Small mercies - Ann didn't have a rookery above her! As hospitals go The Lister isn't bad. Compared to my limited experience of MK, it looks almost five star.

So, for Ann life will be better once she gets out, I'm sure. As for Sammi, I get a nice reminder each year that Samuel Woolhead has a birthday on June 13th - as if I could forget? The only problem is that the email says that he is 3 years older than he really is. He has never needed to show ID so adding three years to his age seems a bit odd. There is me trying to knock years off my age! 

Over here we are having a heatwave. Almost everyone in the UK turns into a lobster look-a-like and bares far too much skin. I remember a summer in the mid 1970s when everything was parched for weeks. Compared to now, that was pretty mild. Climate change is a whole world problem - not a first world problem. We are lucky over here just as you are in Singapore. We can hide from the worst of it. I can water my plants so my garden blooms - no probs!

Hope you are doing well, Marms. I miss you as always

Love

XXX

Rats!

 Dear Marmite

As you well know, we have both been up front and close to these creatures. So you can imagine my horror and surprise while sitting on a very comfortable sofa, looking out on a very lovely garden in England when a not so little rat popped up on the lawn. Anticipating your deprecation, I'll tell you I shouted the bleeding obvious: "There's a rat!"

This not so little creature seemed at home in the garden and clearly had made a home under the wooden decking - probably with fifty of his closest relatives too. My friend Jane, jumped into action and before long rat poison had been inserted into every available hole around the decking. My exclamation really was a conversation stopper. 

We had been watching the birds come and go. Each time a larger bird arrived the smaller ones departed - they were clearly aware of a pecking order. The two pigeons had been attacking a bit of crusty bread when a seagull waddled in and swallowed the two -inch chunk of baguette whole. You could see it in its throat. 

Seagulls are greedy pests but they don't engender the same response from us as rats do! Yet it is common knowledge that we are never more than 10 meters from a rat. 

Definitely a cuddly creature worth celebrating

When I was on the West Highland Way with Sammi and Dylan, I pointed out to Dylan that the slight movement in the heather was most probably a haggis. I explained to him that the legs on their right side were considerably longer than those on the left as they only over ran round mountains in an anticlockwise direction. Dylan and Sammi were at a very low ebb at this time so the reason for our rest stop was to chivvy them both along. An old couple came past and asked after us. I said we had been haggis spotting. Without missing a heart beat, the old man said, "Och I, they are vicious little creatures too!" Wonderful! Dylan spent the rest of the holiday asking about them. He even checked out haggis on Mel's phone - there really are pictures of these elusive, hairy beasts yet they remain  so difficult to trap.

After the joy of Jubilee celebrations which I have to say were remarkably well done, we failed to get rid of Boris the Rat once again. He has wriggled out of yet another hole - the vote of no confidence -  and he lives to lie. Around the world, people look on the UK as a haven of justice and a hub for culture. I really believe, as a country, we market and  export ourselves incredibly well. Yet, we are a laundromat for the illegal gains from less than desirable regimes, we treat genuine asylum seekers inhumanely and have an embarrassing percentage of our own citizens living well below the poverty line. 

Our desire to splash out on a once-in-a-lifetime Platinum Jubilee is laudible yet we fail to sort any wrongs of our welfare system. This is almost as much of a paradox as the USA being pro-life but not curbing gun ownership so school children continued to be killed far too often. 

We truly do live in a very warped world. Sending you all my love. Tomorrow, the 9th, you are 15 and a 1/2 years old. Wow!!! You are doing better than the queen!

Love

XXX