I hear you got your fur trimmed today and that you are now snuggled under a blanket because it is too cold in Singapore. You have blankets now. You used my rugs as your blankets and then I'd trip over the corners. Let me tell you about my day and night.. on a bus no less.
I left Phuket at 3pm yesterday on a bus to Chang Rai. It was advertised as 25 hours and 40 minutes so I wasn't exactly excited about this leg. Almost as soon as I got on the bus the heavens opened and wept my departure uncontrollably. I too felt like doing the same with the thought of the long trip ahead.
I settled down and finished my Kindle within 15 minutes of the start of the trip and then couldn't upload the next novel which I had already bought. That was a BIG Oh Bloody Hell moment. No Internet. So no reading. Over a day ahead of me and nothing to read. Believe me, I was perturbed.
I was very careful with the telephone but nevertheless that had run dry just as I finished the Guardian Quickie crossword the next morning. To top that, the power pack was worse than useless so I watched the rain, tried to nod off and failed. Time stood still. Then I started playing games with myself just to pass the time. I used to do it with the children when they were young but this time it was me entertaining me.
The red digital clock at the front of the bus beamed out the time. So I tried to close my eyes and open them when I thought 5 minutes had passed. I was useless. I think I managed 3 at the most. This game lasted a long time and I also calculated the percentage of the trip that was already complete to add to my enjoyment. I also amused myself with the funny names of towns along the route. I even went to the toilet at the back of the bus and that I have to say was easier than the speedboat but still not a comfortable, relaxed wee.
Nine o'clock came round and the wee dumpy "hostess" on the bus told us passengers that we have meal at number one. She gave us tickets and everyone left the bus. I didn't understand this but just followed. The meal was served at VIP1 but it wasn't VIP in any way. I worked out that two of the dishes contained pigs organs and I was worried that there might be preservatives in the dish that would make me ill. I couldn't bring myself to eat much at all.
I looked at the stalls on the way back to the coach but nothing struck me as safe to eat. The next morning at 5 we had another stop and another "meal". This time everyone left their plates unfinished. This time the food was both unidentifiable and inedible - and not just for the western palette. The nearby shop was stocked with snacks in bright coloured packets all crying out poison to me. So by this time I am getting a little hungry as well as suffering sleep deprivation.
We stop one last time at a bus station and there are some Lays ready salted potato crisps on sale. Not my favourite by a long stretch but they filled a hole. By the time 2pm came round I started to get excited. There was a sign that said Chang Rai and I felt the end of this trauma was nigh. In fact, the bus arrived in Chang Rai over an hour earlier than scheduled. I had to restrain myself from dancing round the bus station in celebration and settled for getting a tuk-tuk to my hotel.
Now I am reunited with Diane and Jeremy. Our meal tonight sitting by the River Kok was the opposite of my suffering in every way. You cannot imagine how good the food tasted. The only blight on the meal was the evening chill in the air. So, Marmite, I too am looking to tuck myself under a blanket and curl up to keep warm.
Be brave. Singapore is warmer than here. You look so stylish with a number 2.
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